h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I live in a large house in a subdivision, near the heart of America (I suppose Michigan is at least located by it's valve) in a small town called Goodrich. Recently the first thunderstorm of the season formed above our little burg, swamping the patch of property called the back yard. My mother's woodchips were displaced onto the path. Our basement was flooded, which has indirectly contributed to how warm it is here, among other factors. An awful matter in itself, especially when our basement was finished and by way of a curtain partition, doubled as storage space. [unfinished- it's warm in here]