h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got into a nocturnal routine again. I don't know how it happens, but I suddenly find that I'm going to bed at 11 in the morning and waking up at 7 in the evening.

The problem is, I quite like it like this. It's much quieter, less people disturb me, I can think clearer (believe me, nowadays this is an advantage) and I don't get disturbed by the doorbell or phone (for some reason I jump out of my skin whenever one of them goes off).

The only disadvantage is that I'm looking for a job and most employers tend to like their employees to turn up to work during the day . I'm sure there's some kind of predujice there. What if I claim to be a vampire and cannot come out at day? I'll have to try that at my next interview.

Depends what kind of job you're looking for. Some people do work nights... *and some people finally see the light*

Still, with so much to put on your CV, how can you lose:-

'Sub-editor'
'Guru'
'President'
'Infamous feet'

The list is endless.

~A~

*shame about the memory lapses though*

I tried a night job once and didn't mind it too much, except that it was stacking dog food on shelves in a supermarket, which isn't my idea of job satisfaction...

I wouldn't mind being a security guard or something, but nobody in their right mind would hire me to look after their valuables.

Perhaps you should become a nocturnal wildlife expert - badgers, bats, foxes, etc.

Badgers are partial to a bit of dog food actually, so you might be able to claim 'relative experience'.

So... what does a President of h2g2 do then?

~A~

Erm... write a weekly column for the Post. (I've written one so far)
And listen to the voice of the people, apparently. I prefer my own voice though. Or the voice of anyone offering a large fat cheque. Much like most politicians...

Unfortunately I seem to have adopted the Nocturnal routine as well.... I tried breaking it on Friday-Saturday, by not going to sleep till Saturday about 12.... having been awake since 5 on friday... but it hasn't worked.... I woke up at 6 today.... got up at 6'30
Perhaps we're both Vampires.... and don't know it.....

Vel, zis ist very intevesting vor a Minister ov Zleeping, ya?

Um... so it's a really taxing job then, huh? I can get you some fat cheques, although they won't be for more than about 5p... just overweight.

~A~

Mmm, could you write out some cheques on cheese? I'm hungry.

*it's late at night and my mind's wandering... don't mind me*

You can actually write a cheque on anything you want.... like cheese... or a cow.... or umm....... a car even

Actually why don't we have a ministry of cheese???

Nobody's offered to be Minister of Cheese yet

Sounds cheesy enough already to me.

I guess a Minister for Silly Walks has already been appointed? What does that leave for a mythological horse with no interest in politics?

~A~

Of course Minister of Silly Walks was one of the first!

Minister of Political Disinterest?

Sounds ideal. Consider this my official disinterested application.

~A~

Excellent! I'll add you to the list... welcome to the Alabaster House cabinet!

(Don't worry, you don't have to do anything... nobody else does )

Excuse ME!!! I'm very proficient in my work! I've done many many hours of research

zzzZZZ

Well, yes, the Ministry of Sleep and the Ministry of Doing Sod-All are the only really productive ministries really...

I'm sure I can live up to their high standards in the Ministry of Political Disinterest.

Not that I care, of course.

~A~

It's alright for some... I think I ought to demand a Presidential Smiley , or at least a Peregrine! The nearest is but it's the wrong colours even for a Peregrine chick

Well I have put my request in for a 'flying horse' smiley.

How about adopting the as the presidential smiley?! If a picture paints a thousand words...

~A~