h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mmmm...sweet, nourishing caffeinated beverage. How did I ever live withou...

Oh, hi! You may remember me from such empty promises as "Just one more oreo before I go to bed" and "This is the last time I smoke, really, ever"! I was just sitting here with my bubbly beverage friend discussing that since I've been soooooo good without caffeine and/or sugar for the last, erm, almost two days...well, it was time that I had something to make up for it. I've been very good...very, very...

Okay, I caved. I suck. I have no willpower. I can feel my arteries hardening as we speak, and what's more, I LIKE it.

I should probably give up cigarettes tomorrow to make up for my dreadful lack of self-control today...but why?

The important thing is that you made it nearly two days, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise...

I, um, can't figure out why to bother to do caffeine detox. I've actually done it before, found I can live without the stuff, and invariably don't care enough to keep doing it that way.

I like tea.



mmm, oh oh, i also like sleep. Is there any caffene in sleep?

If there is, there's not enough in it. I need Jolt™ sleep.

They still sell that here! Never had it, though.

It tastes really, really awful, and I think the caffeine in there is overrated. I once drank three and fell asleep about 30 minutes after.

Now, Red Bull, however....whoooo, doggie!

I've never had Jolt or Red Bull. However, I have kind of an energetic personality anyhow.

Kinda like when a friend tried to get me to try extacy once, and explained that it was a seratonin enhanser. I told him I was on seratonin inhibitors...that being on extacy was probably what I feel like all the time when I'm not on my "calm the hell down" pills.

Hi! Probably more information about me than you ever wanted to know.

Hey! Which Seratonin inhibitor are you (were you) on Krissy? If you don't mind sharing...which we've probably already talked about before...but I forget. I was on Serzone AND Buspar for years and years! Woo-hoo! Why am I getting excited about this?!? I don't know!! I can't feel my legs!!!!

*deep cleansing breaths*

Anyway, hi! The caffeine experiment didn't go too well, if you didn't notice. And the crummy thing is that now I've got to devise some way to stop smoking. I can't smoke at all at this new job. At all. At...all. So I'm going to be all wonky, sucking on pencils and the like, unless I can come up with an answer.

I've got an addictive personality, you know?

...Well, you keep coming back, don't you?

Well...*munching on lunch, chewing gum, drinking coffee and gambling* I don't have an addictive personality and I'm appalled by anybody who does!!

Are you gonna eat that??

I quit smoking by gaining as much weight as possible. Now I have dificutly breathing in general due to my massive bulk, so smoking's not a problem anymore!

Actually, I can't believe I haven't fallen off the wagon yet. The best thing to do is to get your significant other to do it with you, then police each other like mad. Encourage positive reinforcement, and point, laugh, and threaten to leave if one of you cheats. It's remarkably effective.

*walks around on shakey knees and constantly looks over her shoulder*

I am, by the way, on Paxil. Buspar stoned me out of my mind.

*Takes notes* Right, right...uh-huh...get fat, got it, on my way there as we speak....break my boyfriend's kneecaps...okay...

Actually, Krissy honey, if you're "fat" I'd like to know what "thin" looks like. That's supposed to be a compliment, believe it or not.

And yes, Buspar is pure evil in pill form. I thought that nausea was a normal part of life 'till I took myself off of that stuff. I still have to lie down when I think about it. Erk.

*lie's down*

Oh no! I've made you lie down!

*races around getting together hot cocoa and soothing oreos*

No, it's true. I haven't had a cigarette since September 1st. How long has that been? *counts* 5 months. Not too shabby. Andy's been really good too. I did an evil thing when I bought him the worlds biggest cigar for New Years though. Can we say Hello again, nicotine cravings!!

Good. I knew you could.

*gives cocoa and oreos to 'manda*

And I've put on a lot of weight since I quit smoking. Of course, wintertime is here and it's crap-tacular out so I'm not excercising either. Woo Hoo!

*munches thoughtfully on an oreo*

*Passes out bubble gum, pencil tips, scooby snacks, pickles, ice cream, candy canes, peices of straw, AK 47's, many boxes of simpson's videos*

All the requirements when quitting smoking...

OOOooooo...you can tell he's done it before. And whatever anybody tells you, you MUST have the AK47. It comes in very handy when you need to hurt somebody just so you're not the only one in pain.

*adds blow-pops*

ok, blowpops. Right. Anything else whilst i'm away?

Anti-freeze?? ACK! NO!

Old threads revisited!!

How 'bout....cough medicine?

Mmmm.....intermingling threads. You gotta love that. I'm convinced that one of these days all of our threads will just congeal into one big thread of jumbled-up nonsense, inside jokes and off-topic subjects.

Well, it'd be a lot easier on my browser anyway. Me, I don't care. Do you care? No, I don't care.

Oh, and Greg? I tried to come off caffeine to prove that I could do it, that's why. And I intake a hell of a lot of caffeine. I do. So I'd safely say that if you you don't care to do it or can't figure out why to do it, well...then don't do it. Makes sense, I'd say.

It does. FAR too much sense for the likes of us.

Just to make things better, I'm going to speak in my own made-up language. I'm going to call this language, swaheely.

Yubudubamuma.

Thank you.

*blushes and races of to get some coffee before she says something she'll REALLY regret*

I really think that's the key these days. Made up languages. Here's one of my own special words.

Rugadimytalililililiwonkawonka.

Oddly enough, that's also the name of the language. Go figure.

Just between you and me, my favorite part in your language is the wonkawonka. I really think it says it all.

Kinda like "hoookerville".

Who doesn't LOVE the word hoookerville??