h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So the Padres are doing bad. Ok, terribly.
But that's okay. I'm a good San Diegan, and I will continue to love the Padres, just as I love the Chargers and the Sockers, also known for their close calls tailgated by pitfalls. Because I keep the faith, like that happy monk and the Chicken. We love our Chicken, I tell you what.
I'm even proud to say the soccer Sockers. It doesn't mean that we have no creativity, we just love puns.
Just as long as Ben Davis is there, everything will be all right. Oh yeah, and those other guys..er.. Gwynn and Rivera, was it? They're all right too, I guess.

Oh jolly good, I think...... (what on earth is she talking about?)
A confused englishman.

A confused Englishman? I would say that's the best kind, but...it's not. So I'll clear things up for you

the Padres are San Diego's baseball team. They were doing extremely well in June and July, but now they're losing terribly.
the Chargers are the football team. They're bad.
the Sockers are the soccer team. They're even worse.

The Happy Monk is the Padres' mascot.
The Chicken is the Chargers' mascot.

As a die-hard Chicago/Denver fan, I feel your pain. Let us investigate:

Prologue - The Denver Broncos do not count for this discussion, although they might this year, now that Elway is gone

Chapter 1 (Chicago)
Chicago Bulls - Won six championships in eight years, then the greatest athlete ever retired, everyone else left, and you get 5 points if you can name anyone still on the team.
Chicago Cubs - Haven't won a world series since the turn of the century, and haven't even played in one since the forties. A few brief teases ('84, '89, '98) but not even a playoff series win.
Chicago Blackhawks - Name one player. I dare you.
Chicago Bears - Won a Super Bowl in '85. Have been marginal to terrible ever since.
Chicago White Sox - I hate the Sox. I could care less what they do.
BONUS
My University of Illinois Football Team: Won two games last year, and ZERO the year before.

Chapter 2 (Denver)
Denver Nuggets - No one in Denver cares about the Nuggets. Even when they are good, which they certainly are not right now.
Colorado Rockies - They don't even play baseball. They play Homer-Ball.
Colorado Avalanche - OK, they won the Stanley Cup a few years back, but they have so much talent, they should win every year. At least that's how people think after you win a Cup in your first year in a city.
Various Colorado Universities - I could have attended CU, but didn't. So never mind

Summary - This is a lot longer than I intended. And now I'm late for my softball playoff game......

...which we lost anyway, so who cares

Your journal entry has inspired me to write something on the agony of rooting for the Chicago Cubs. Look for it soon, if Hurricane Bret doesn't blow me away first........

By the way, if you wanted you could take a peek at my new article on basketball. Thanks in advance!

Okay I'll be right over

At least the Cubs have got Sammy Sosa, who in my opinion is way cooler than Mike McGuire. All we've got is Gwynn. And home runs are a lot more exciting than just hitting balls straight down the field repeatedly.

Yeah, but I like Gwynn better than Wade Boggs. Maybe it's because I had a roommate once that looked like Tony

Wow, that's cool . ony's a nice guy, though, when you hear him interview and stuff...

What was sad was when McGuire hit his 500th the day everyone thought Tony would hit his 3000th... because he would have, if they hadn't pitched the ball over his head and walked him. He actually sat on the bench and cried because they had done that to him. Poor Tony .

Thank you for all that, which I didn't want to know anyway, but thank you for caring.......Anyone for tennis?

I love tennis, but have the annoying habit of rooting for Americans.....anyone for hurricanes?

Ohh, that Venus girl with the pretty beads in her hair! Her sister, too!
That's about all I know of Tennis.

I did play soccer when I was just a wee lass...

It's an uphill struggle rooting for Brits (especially as one of them is really Canadian). C'est la vie, comme la guerre....