h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was listening to Queen--nothing new.

Then I thought about something...If the Fat Bottomed Girls are the ones who make the rocking world go round...what about the little bottomed girls?
Are the Fat Bottomed Girls the only ones who make the rockin' world go round?
Why can't I make the rockin' world go round?

I wish I could make the rockin' world go round. If I had known when I was little that I wouldn't have been able to make the rockin' world go round I would have changed my eating habits long ago.
Oh well. 

Fenchurch, I'm pretty sure that if Freddy was alive now and you put forward to him your concerns he would have made a song entitled "Women Who Don't Have Fat Bottoms Also Make The Rockin' World Go Round" in your honour. He might even put a reference to this in another song, much like he did with Fat Bottomed Girls in 'Bicycle Race'. But alas we'll never know.

Wow, you really think so? Thanks, Wowbagger, I feel a lot better. I just felt a bit incompetent, you know, and if I can't make the rockin' world go round, how can I be sure a fat-bottomed girl would take it into her hands?

All we can do is give fat bottomed girls everywhere free copies of Cosmopolitan and Cleo, give them all complexes from looking at all those waif like models, and they'll be too busy worrying about their body image to make the rockin' world go 'round.

Actually that sounds a little too harsh (people should have bottoms whichever size they want to). But the plan would be to get Fat Bottomed Girls distracted so that Little Bottomed Girls a chance to take over. Any ideas?

Rereading, I'm not sure that that meant what I thought it should have meant. Can't think of a way to make it mean what I meant. Sorry.

*Whistles absently*

I was just a skinny lad,
never knew no good from bad....

I didn't even know you had replied, I probably missed it...

It makes sense...I say we give the fat-bottomed girls lots of pound cake. We stick "low-fat" stickers on the packages, and so they eat a whole lot, until they step over the line from "fat-bottomed" to "utterly disgusting". The thing is, if you look at the poster of the fat-bottomed girls, they weren't really FAT-bottomed, just kind of...pear-shaped. So it would take a lot of pound cake.

I like your theory of Cosmo, but what if the rockers were to get a copy and they change their mind and say that overly-skinny, anorexic bottomed girls are the ones to make the rockin' world go round? I'd be out of luck, because I eat more than two lettuce leaves a day.

This may need some scientific evaluation...

I'm glad you made the distinction between fat bottomed girls and overly disgusting bottomed girls - and pear shaped is nice. Another word that suits is Rubenesque (showing my art background here).

I'm not sure whether Rockers read Cosmo - not being one myself (couldn't play an instrument to save myself) but you never know.

Pleased to hear your eating habits are amongst the sane people of this world.

Wow, impressive art background.

Rockers and Cosmo? hmm... I don't know...on one hand, the magazine has a new outrageously gorgeous scantily clad woman on the front every month, but then again, those women are almost always skinny-bottomed. I can only deduce from this information that the rockers don't actually READ cosmo, but cut out the faces on the front and stick them to the cover girl of "Rubenesque Weekly".

This has no relevance in how to get the rockers to forget about the fat-bottomed girls, but it makes me sound like an inspector of sorts.

Dear Inspector Fenchurch,

As a subscriber to Rubenesque Weekly, I agree. Shows Fenchurch the Ally McBeal issue.

We could tell all the fat bottomed girls that auditions for the new look Baywatch (top heavy girls: out - fat bottomed girls: in) are going to be in Australia rather than LA, then have them kicked out of one Aus beach, so they try another, then they get kicked out of there and so they go to Hawaii, and then the second Aus beach wants them back, but they refuse and so, in the end, they totally forget about making the rockin' world go round, which leaves it open for little bottomed girls to take over!

Or has this been done before? (except for the 'top heavy girls: out' bit)

What if they start making the Aussie rockin' world go round, and then there's an Australian huge rock revolution ting and they take over the rockin' world like England did in the 60's? It's back to square one...

There is one thing that we could do, but it's cruel and unusual- somehow get all the sunscreen out of Australia, or at least keep it from the fat-bottomed girls... they would burn to a crisp and wouldn't be able to take them home tonight down beside that red firelight because their skin would be the colour of the firelight, not to mention incredibly painful...

Don't Aussie bands already make the rockin' world go 'round? We've produced savage garden (they're on the rise), silverchair (they're on the 'out'), Crowded House (they've already split up), INXS (lead singer dead), ummm.... ummm.... We've got a lot of ex-soapie stars that have made it big in England *grins sheepishly*

Actually we've got tonnes of brilliant local talent, but I really don't know who are making the rockin' world go 'round. Please let me know Miss Fenchurch, I'd love to know what Aussies are making it big overseas.

And as for the sunburn idea, it sounds a bit harsh. Melanomas (skin cancers) are a big problem down here. Too much sun to play in. Like the idea about the red fire-light though *giggles*.

Thinking about the lyrics though, one way we could thwart the fat bottomed girl's plans would be to inspect all nanny's bottoms and fire all the ones with fat ones.

Oh. And fire Fran Drescher too, despite her bottom size. Just because we want to.

I didn't know Silverchair was from Oz... interesting. Savage Garden's good, and they're from Australia, *everyone* knows that... you see now that a couple of guys who's rockin world I'd be glad to make go round. I'd be very upset if fat bottomed girls were given that chance on our collaborative command... but then again, there will be tours. INXS was good... they had some new stuff a while back, didn't they? I'm sure there are other bands that are known here, just no totally mainstream ones besides Savage Garden at the moment... I'll be sure to let you know of any developmnts over here, though

But back to the pressing matter- the fat bottomed girls. That's what I meant, that all the local talent would be brought to life by the fat-bottomed girls and suddenly become worlwide hits. It would be devestating (not the local talent making it big, the fat-bottomed girls thing ).

I do like the nanny idea... I say we replace all fat-bottomed nannies with overly huge disgusting nannies, thus making all the rockers steer far, far away from the whole fat thing altogether and go for little-bottomed girls. What do you think?

I can only wonder why such a nice person like you would go to all this trouble of thinking a lot about fat bottoms for little-bottomed me. I say, is there any musical personality you'd like to help go round? I can see if we can develop a parallel type thread for accomplishing this, as a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your kind words.

As for my own musical groups to make the rockin' world go 'round well...I'm currently listening to Frank Zappa- he's gone that doesn't really count. Neither would a lot of other bands I listen to for the same reason.

The latest US performers I listen to include Smashmouth, The Lemonheads, Cake and KD Lang (though I'm not sure what type of girls she goes for ) On the Australian front, I'm currently listening to The Gadflys, The Whitlams, Spiderbait, Regurgitator and Nick Cave. As for INXS, rumour has it that Terrence Trent Darby now fronts the band. They performed down here a couple of months ago but who knows what they're up to now.

As for why, hey why not? I just liked what you wrote.

Actually I'd really like to know how you set up your page the way you did. I did all this typing for mine, but it ended up just a big blobby page of words. How do you separate them. And as for you pictures and music, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Oh and don't worry. We'll figure out this fat bottomed girl thing yet.

Nice Cave, I love Nick Cave... I had no idea he was Australian...I'll tell you what, I can probably work on Cake as they're from San Fransisco and it's not too far away. I'll divide this forum into two threads so we can resolve the fat-bottomed girls case while revealing cool HTML things as well

I'm into dead performers as well (can you tell? ), which is kind of sad... I listen to mainstream, but that's just because they've got it on in stores and stuff and some of it's snappy.

Okay, for the Cake... they're a strange bunch, as I don't think they like fat-bottomed girls as much as fat-topped girls, as illustrated in the song "Italian Leather Sofa". Now I don't know if this would help or hinder, but either way your case would be much improved by wearing one of those hat made with towel-like material.

Okay, to separate the words, counts for one carriage return, so whenever you want to star a new paragraph you type
to start on the next line like this or

to start two lines down, and three and four just follow suit. To make the words bold, type the words to be bold here and end it with that. To make them italic use this and to underline them use this. You can use them in combination like this also. To change the colour of your font use this: words to be blue to end. You gotta spell colour "color" or it wont work. Words can be red, blue, cyan, green, white, black, etc. but to get in-between colours you have to use hexadecimals, which I can explain if you really want, but can get pretty confusing. To make really huge writing, use words or words, and to have small writing use words or words. There are other ways to change the size but those are by far the easiest.

Now for the really fun stuff. To make a link, you find out what the url of the page you want to link to is, you usually can find it at the top of your browser it's the thing that starts with "http:". when you have it written down, go back to your page and the tag is words that are the link. To put an image on your page, get the url of the image. This can be tricky at times, but you can always find it by getting the page info. Once you have that url, use it in this: and the picture will show up. If you have web space, like on geocities or something similar, you can always save the image and save it in your web space, so that you will always know the url (it's given to you once you sign up).

I hope this is all making sense.

And for the music, once again, copy the url of the music, but make sure it's in "midi" form, which means whatever it's called, it should bend in ".mid". Then put it into this on your page:






I really really hope all of that made sense... or at least some of it. Wow, I typed a whole lot. If there's anything else you'd like to know, just ask

Firstly, Hello. I can't believe I missed this thread for so long. PLease forgive. Fenchurch, you should have told me about this thread.

Secondly, Brian May wrote Fat Bottom Girls, Freddie wrote Bicycle Race. So maybe you can get Brian to write you a song that little bottom girls can rock this world.

Now for some ranting and raving about Queen.

It really gets to me that people label songs like 'I Want to Break Free' as a song by Freddie (and hence the song must have been about gay life), because John Deacon, a very straight and devote Christian, wrote it.

People think that Freddie was Queen, and Queen was Freddie. However some of their better songs, like most off A Kind Of Magic, were written by either Queen, or Brian May. The fairly hard rock ones are of course Roger Taylor, and surprisingly the Mercury/Deacon songs are have a 'party' feel about them.

Though, this is not to say Freddie was out done by anyone in Queen, infact a lot of their best selling singles were Freddie's, this include my all time favourite 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. He took the remenants of Smile, and turned it into one of the greatest Rock Bands in the world.

Hmm, I could go on. Have your say, and I will look out for this thread.

Yeah, Freddie was more the guy who pulled it all together and made it sparkly so that everyone loved them . And I also find it upsetting that they only relate Queen to Freddie and homosexuality (though there's nothing wrong with that) when the band really was VERY talented and could reach any lifestyle and describe, accentuate, etc. a part of it. I really like "The Game", myself, though my overall favorite song is either "Teo Torriate" or "The Seven Seas of Rhye" (A bit of a clash, eh? ay. )

Even people misinterpret the name, because they didn't choose it for it's sexual connotations at all, but rather because it's an overall versatile, regal, universal name that could be visually bent and etc.

Ack! I could go on and on, don't get me started .

I don't know if I'd asked you before, but you seem like the one who'd know, Gari- have you heard of Queen's whole Lily and Phoenix concept thing? I've just read a little about it...

Oh, I love Seven Seas of Rhye. In fact, Queen II is one of my favourite albums. I really love the second half of the album. Freddie did a lot to make it flow on from one song to the next.

Saying that, don't get me to ask me what my favourite album is, because Queen changed their style so many times, and each time it worked (except Hotspace, only really like Under Pressure on that album). And the early Queen, is not the same as the 80's Queen, and the 90's Queen is different too.

As for the Lily and Phoenix concept thign, no. Maybe you could point me in the right direction.

I thought I was the only one who hadn't heard of it! Apparently Freddie had some wierd riddle thing going on in his music...that or the author of the book had way too much time on their hands and made it all up to sell their book, but you can read about it http://homepages.enterprise.net/sylv/INNUENDOES.HTM
there... something about 'RAZ and the Queen Concept and the Good/Evil fight and stuff, but I wasn't convinced to buy the book... I just wanted to find out if anyone else had heard about anything that lady was talking about!!

I think it looks like a load of (excuse the expression) crap.

Anything to do with Numerology and that can always be made to look like what you want. Seems to me that they are trying to make it look like Freddie was the second coming or something.

Also no where on it do I see it is 'sanctioned' by Queen or anything. I should just pop on to the real Queen emailing list and to see what people are saying.

I think I won't waste my money