h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, I know people have read my Journal Entries, but I know of only one or two people who have read my User Pages. Surely they aren't that boring, and I have written a few, so you may as well look at them all. Some are funny, and some a very educational, and some are both.

Ah well, prove me wrong by getting at least one on the front page (and not in the most neglected list either) 

I do!

Wohoo!!! someone different has left a message. Now I can rehash all my jokes again.

Hi Garibaldi - I have just read all 10 of your user pages & I am dead impressed! Keep up the good work! I have not as yet been inspired and haven't published any user pages yet. Take care of yourself, you should be VERY proud of what you've achieved, not just in h2g2 but in your Melbourne move & close family etc.

I'm going to be relocating out to California from the UK, 6000 miles from parents and in-laws. My brother's already in Hollywood and my husband will be joining me once the bureaucracy has done its thang. I look forward to reading more of your contributions!

Hi, Garibaldi. Just thought I'd drop you a line. I'm new to all this, but the Insurance thread is dead funny. I was amazed to find I was talking to people in Australia and NZ! Only had a Net capability for a couple of months, and found H2G2 last week. I've not read all your stuff yet, but I'll get around to it. Phone charges here in UK are a bit high. I don't know if you've ever been to England, but you'll be pleased to here it's mid-summer, and piddling with rain.
I've not posted any articles yet, but I've got a few ideas. I'll keep looking at the Insurance thread in the meantime. Liked the BBQ piece, we tey to have them over here, but it's always raining. Did have one 600 feet above the Bristol Channel in a severe storm, once. The campsite manager was most impressed!
Best Regards,
Grey Area.

Thank you. It has given me the urge to more user pages.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy you move, sounds like a big one.

Thanks Grey Area. It's amasing who you meet on the Net, and I have a lot of friends that I will probably never meet, except via the Internet.

As for the BBQ, I know other countries have them.

Garibaldi help is at hand. I have transformed my home page into a lonely hearts club. If dead lucky you could be the 1st to use it. Hard meeting people in a new big city.

Well, actually as of tomorrow I will have been in Melbourne for 5 months. (Hmm, looks like another Journal item coming up). I am not really lonely, more upset as I came out of a relationship about a month ago.

You could still be first. I need someone to kick it off.

Might as well be me then, as the bottom seems to have dropped out of the world market for erm, me.

Well Grey Area, you try it out, and then tell me how it goes.

Garibaldi, I showed your user pages to my pet rat Zyrolill and they bought tears to his eyes. Usually only Shakespeare does that to him.

*looks puzzled* what do you mean? I hope you are saying that your rat laughed so hard it brought tears to his face, and not some excrusiating (sp?) pain. As I am not into torturing animals

OK, he has also been known to cry while watching cartoons on Sky TV. Probably thinking of the money I am spending on myself instead of buying truckloads of cheese. He cries when reading Shakespeare and your stuff because of the bathos and pathos. He also sends his love to an old friend of his, Wendy, a rat who now lives at St Kilda tram station.

Nah, don't think so. Not in a position to get in a relationship, at the moment. Sorry to hear yours broke up. Women, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em...

Er yeah, women, can't live with them, can't live with out them. Actually I am living with 2. ARGH!!! And I thought I was messy (in my room) but one of them leaves dirty dishes in the lounge room, and the paper spread all over the lounge room floor. Not the gas heating, that's another bug bear of mine, but I will leave that until later....

Why don't you get a maid. I go to work on Monday morning, leaving the place a slight shambles, come home that night and the house is spotless and my ironing has also been done. She spends about 2 hours a week and it costs me $20. Money well spent. The gardener comes once a fortnight. $10 per visit. Tossing up whether I need a butler. I use taxis as a chauffeur so as to avoid drinking and driving. I find beer spills all over the steering wheel when you go over bumps.

Well you have to watch out for the maids and the butlers. Especially if they are brother and sisters, just look what happened in Rock Horror Picture Show. Riff Raff and Magenta turned against their master.

I believe the secret is to have ugly staff. They are eternally grateful you gave them a job and they honestly believe you like them.