h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 I'm currently involved in the long term and, hopefully, intermittent human activity called 'Living on Fresh Air'. It's an interesting pasttime, mainly because fresh air is so hard to come by. You can try to get high up, but by the time you've got there your 'Out of Breath' i.e. you can't take advantage of the fresh air. Sleeping with the window open helps, but is rewarded with freezing toes or large buzzy things attacking you in the morning, depending on the time of year.

I wouldn't mind a 'Breath of Fresh Air', but That is notoriously fickle commodity, especially at my age. It often looks good from a distance but turns out to be stale and dejected.

I guess I'll just have to go to an oxygen bar, or stick my head in the fridge.

Oxygen: Necessary.