h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

dave is dead. i dont know how or why right now but i suspect it is suicide. dave has been my friend since grade school. if not my best friend, at least my oldest. he lived down the hall from me, i haven't heard from him in a few days and had begun to worry, and just 30 minutes ago I saw the policeman investigating his apartment and he told me that he was dead, and im not allowed to tell anyone untill i talk to the detectives. i called her cause i had to talk to someone but she could only do so much now i cant call anyone elase cause everyone else i know knows him so i am just sitting here entering my feeling in shock. dave was dave. he had his problems but things were strating to go the right way i thought he was holding down a job and was off of the drugs if not the booze it was something. i don't feel anything right now i am a void first paul and now this i am naseuos but i cant vomit. i wondered yesterday if everything was ok cause i hadn't heard from him and now he is dead the lasttime i saw him i pretty much blew him off and he prolly went over there and killed himself. i want to curl myself up into a little ball and wait for it all to go away. what am i supposed to feel? i don't know if i am felling anything numb dizzy sick.f**k now what oh this hurtd i need to contain these feelings too they hurt too much my friends are dying. why do they keep killing themselves?why. I knew dave since we were in 3rd grade together that like 6 or something we had our fights but he seemed solid. we gamed toghet i got him kicked out of the army, heh, that was the best joke yet, f**k why dave why ? he lest me use his place to score in, he was there when my heart was broken, i failed him

DL,
You didn't fail him.S**t happens.Dave just found it to hard to go on anymore.I'm sure you can understand that.Sometimes life is just too hard for some people.Don't blame yourself.I know this sounds a bit corny but you couldn't have stopped him if you'd tried.Some people can keep on fighting others can't.
I have lost 17 friends to drink and drugs over the years, and a marriage,but thats another story which one day I will tell you about.
Each time someone we are close to dies its like a little bit of ourselves disappearing.Thats whats scary.
I will email you later today and if I can get my network hooked up properly I will try to get to talk to you online tonight.
Just try to keep it together.For Daves sake.

i'm hurting right now df. i thot i was ok then i saw about Douglas Adams and It just opened the wound ( i dont know why but it did) i just want the pain to stop. I am so mad at dave for doing this.... iguess im not ready to deal with this yet. don't worry, I'll be fine this kinda caught me off guard.
dl