h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

wELL WHAT A FLURRIED THREE weeks that has BEEN. Golly. What, with flying up and down the countryside, playing all kinds of tricks on the little hamsters, setting my friend on fire, playing my guitar in the street, sleeping under the stars, and discovering the truth about the planet inside the mind of my friend Andrew Curtis-Smith (No I'm not going to tell you, you can find it out for yourself).
The pace is not letting up. I am going out tonite with my X grlfiend to get stoned and annoy cafe staff on K Road and my heavily be-sideburned friend is leaving on thursday to spend time in Australia helping aborigines who have decided to stop drinking bread-strained methane so we are farewelling him tomorrow night by taking him somewhere and handcuffing his brain to a streetlamp (hopefully this will assist him in ignoring the pain of his hideously burnt and disfigured hands and then on thursday I am meeting a dancer called Hope for coffee and embarrassed, slightly paranoid conversation. . .
so without further ado I'm going to roll off and get wasted with Sarah. Byebye.

I mean bread-strained methylated spirits. Drinking methane is difficult as it is hard to pump it through a loaf of bread and catch it on the other side. Right got that straight, NOW I'm f**king off. . .

Welcome back Ac-1D. Go get 'em for us...

GrrrRRrRrrRRrrRRRrrRRrR

Don't you mean GiRRGiRRGiRR?

No I try to growl without using vowels. It's scarier. But I can see you've got the idea !! !! !!