This is a Journal entry by Elysia Meadows
March 6, 2000
Elysia Meadows Started conversation Mar 7, 2000
You know how sometimes you just feel like you want to crawl into a hole and expire? I felt like that today. Now let me tell you why. Yesterday I was in my old hometown and I was catching up on gossip, you know how that is. So I asked my friend, "And how is my ex-boyfriend doing?" because, frankly, I miss him a lot. She paused and said, "Well, let me tell you. He's been spreading rumors." And I said, intrigued, "Oh?" And she said, "Yes, he's been saying that you're a slut and slept around." And I was at first a little bit amused. I said, "Geez, you'd think he's gotten over it by now." You see, I had continued to flirt with a friend while my ex and I were dating and he got really really mad and I think he was hurt. It was hard for me to tell. So she says, "I think you really hurt him, Elyse." And then I was quiet and I've been thinking about that since. I feel so awful about it. I wish I had been what he wanted. I wish I had known just how much he had really liked me; I suspect that his emotion was not returned in full. And I wish to God that he wasn't hurt. I wish that so much it aches. And that's why I've been feeling like crap. Maybe if he reads this, he'll forgive me. I certainly hope he does.
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March 6, 2000
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