h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 Today I was chased again. I was chased all the way through the woods and out the other side, through a mine-field, over a gorge, through a mountain, over the sea and I eventually ended up in somewhere i never knew existed. It was called SCHOOL and I stayed there. I learned a great many things, such as how to hold a pencil without castrating yourself and how to eat baked beans in zero-gravity. I think I shall go there again one day. But now, I'm off to see what mischief I can cause in the home of our friend, Baron Greenback. Good day.