h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There I was, sitting in my comfortable house, surfing hootoo, when I came across a mention of 'The Stretcher'. Clicking into it I found -yikes - a picture of a piece of writing being tortured in a dungeon. What had the poor writer done, I wondered. Queried the judgement of QA?

Reading on, I found a description of a competition to find a star writer. At this point, I relaxed and made myself another cup of coffee.
"I'll leave this to the young things," I thought. "I don't particularly want to be stretched."
But ideas, once they have buzzed across your brain, don't willingly disappear. They keep buzzing back again.
"If I call myself a writer," I thought, "I ought to be writing. Anything, everything, the more the better."
So I sent in my application.

I don't expect to win. I'm entering as an also ran, but my theory is that the also rans are the most important people in a competition. After all, most competitions announce one winner and a few runners up. The rest are also rans. But, without the also rans, it wouldn't be much of a competition. The public might demand their money back if they thought that there were only five or so entrants. So, let's hear it for the also rans!

Ah, 'Also ran' I believe we have indeed met before... darn! too out of practice to even find a smiley!
Take care
boots

Hi, Boots.

I've hung around on the AWW for a few years now, writing mainly short stories and poetry and commenting on other people's stuff.

I'm not sure if I've bumped into you before - maybe you've changed your nickname.

Been around since 2003 and used to write under Useless Hound for the Post but have always been boots. Are you not then'Also ran'?

No, I've only ever been MinorVogonPoet.

I said I was an also ran for the Stretcher competition because I don't expect to win!

Ah
I shall avail myself of your entry and mark the ballot box with a x
Take care
Boots

Where may I find the poem pray? Not having 'lurked' for a while, I fear some signposts are required.

You can find the Stretcher competition from the front page of the Post, or at A46828948.

I wrote a poem, The Cockle Shell Collectors, A45807690 for the first round. That did quite well, but I've fallen back on the second round, where the requirement was for an article for the Edited Guide. I don't think I realised how much work I would end up doing for this.

Now they want a love poem . It's too late to enter the competition but you can do the challenges if you want!

I read your bicycles piece, well done! The competition looks tough, not sure I would be up to all the challenges but great fun!
I look forward to the next round!
Take care
boots