h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Number Ones" is the informal name for the ceremonial uniform of the Royal Navy, that is to say it is the uniform that is worn during parades and inspections.

Number Ones used to be white in colour, but this was changed to black in the early 1990s when they became difficult to wash. The headdress, however, remains white.

The uniform consists of the following:

- jacket - this is black and zips up to the base of the ribcage, where it meets the "silkie" (see below). Two loops are on either side of the top of the zipper, so a "silkie" can be tied down here.

- trousers - these are black and, for some reason, flared.

- "dickie shirt" - this is white with blue trimmings, and although it has a physical resemblance to a t-shirt, it behaves in a very different manner - it is a most awkward item to put on or remove, rivaling the annoyance generated by most wetsuits.

- collar - this is a perculiar item that has no use or significance whatsoever. It is most difficult to describe, but is eventually tied off below the ribcage (preferably out of view from the low cut of the jacket), and leaves a blue "flap" hanging out from the back of the jacket, which runs around the neck and down the lapels. This is relatively easy to put on, and relatively easy to remove - it's a matter of experience, like peeling an orange.

- "silkie" - this is a silk ribbon in a loop that is hung over the neck, beneath the collar, and tied off below the ribcage, at the top of the jacket's zip. This, once again, serves no purpose whatsoever, as it is difficult to attach and cannot be seen by onlookers.

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