h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am glad I got it wrong. I understood the 'gallows' humour only too well, I just thought that not everyone would understand your reasons for talking as you do and might be offended.

I sincerely hope that the assessment brings a change in your circumstances which means you can relax a bit more. I think it is good that you talk about it, as so much is hidden away and suffered in silence these days, though not as much as in the past.

I don't know what the definition of 'normal' or 'crazy' is any more but it seems to me you are as sane and rational as the next person, but with a few problems. I hope that eventually you get the right help for your particular needs.

Websailor

Well, that is it, the eyebrows and goatee beard have been shaved off, it was inevitable really the closer I got to Medical Assessment.
With the shaved head as well I look like the swimmer Duncan Goodhew(sp?). In our own way neither of us can help it really. True I did cut my arm again today but am starting to resent it being on my arm after I have done it so am hopefull it will stop post assessment. Also I loath the shaved eyebrow look with a vengence so I am pretty sure I will stop that after too!

I hope so too.

Websailor

Well that was an eventful day!
I was sick from nerves but went to assessment as would have to do it sometime.The lady seemed nice and really just wanted to know how I was.
The work situation arrised briefly and me having a job still, technically, made it somewhat easier.
It was a long cycle ride but, as always, seemed seemed shorter on way back, Glad to get it over with and will await results of medical examination in post. To be honest I have now had so many examinations in quite a short time I have had enough of them. however, they need to be done so have to do them.

Glad that's over for you. I hope you can relax a bit now without that hanging over you.

Websailor

I went out yesterday with my new Nikon Action EX 10x50 binos to local wooded park and was pleaed to see they cut through the heat haze well.
That is important as haze can destroy the image of distant objects. They seem to be good in general on distance, again good as have no telescope(I like to walk around a lot) and since the image is pretty sharp I can still make out more distant things.
I understand they use ED glass used on more expensive Nikon camera lenses which explains why they are good for distant objects
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I saw a Reed Bunting yesterday. I believe I saw one briefly before in past but wasn't sure exactly what it was. The Reed Bunting I saw yesterday was in its finest summer clothes so didn't look too much like a House/Hedge Sparrow yesterday to confuse me! Being in an area with bushes and reeds helped to confirm it a bit.
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There are lots of Starlings around my garden this sunny morning. Yesterday evening they all came in for a nice bath in my birdbath and bathed 5 a time splashing water everywhere, including thmselves and looked a right state but quite cute strangely, for Starlings. The few youngsters around didn't quite catch on and didn't bath.
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I am finding the small amount I have learn't about bird songs and calls from CDs and DVDs to be very helpful. I find if I try to identify birds like that I am Ok as long as don't listen too long as get confused after a while and mixed up. I think even just learning a few bird songs of the most common birds helps as not so much to identify a bird but so you can say what a bird isn't. for instances, if you know one of the birds you are listening is bird x you can go on to identify the other birds by elimination.
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I am surprised by just how much of the bird song we hear is produced by just a few birds such as Blackbirds, Wrens, Robins, etc. I would listen to CDs and DVDs more but my concentration isn't great at moment.

I think I put the last post in the wrong place, as interesting as it might be, lol!
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As to original intention of this thread, much the same really with some more stronger and more defined, realistic hallucinations yesterday, I haven't been sleeping well. I have been having some more what I call sideshow hallucinations, things at side of vision but quite realistic like room turning into a sort of plasticine/stroke gel and sliding through floor. very difficult to describe but more intens than before.
Still getting sound hallucinations too, I even had a very short bout of hearing voices yesterday. the voice was behind and to side of me and very clear but since was in park it was from inside me. It is hard to explain, but you just know it was from inside me and not external.
A bit like how you differentiate between when you are talking to yourself in head, as we all do, and voices of people talking outside your head. Very bizar but interesting none the less!

Been getting the black window(meaning nightime) and aliens outside as it is their space hallucination again. As I said I am not greatly surprised, it's surprising what becomes normal after a while. The aliens aren't some fantastic, complicated thing, more a comic book drawing with a simple slim silver body and big eyes, I suspect I have seen something like it in past in a cartoon or old film. I had vague noises briefly too, undefined but close by.
This is going to sound crazy, but if it stays at this level I can cope with it, if it goes all too crazy and disconected then clearly I wouldn't be able to. The fact that my sleeping is poor is not unconected, I woke up and found myself sitting upright in lounge on sofa in night clothes and can't remember going there.
Lack of sleep means disturbance so more likely to get such things as disturbances of the mind. The strange thing is is I have slightly less shaking at moment which could mean it is mutating into something else hence the more intense hallucinations than I was getting before. It happened when they gave me meds which stopped false Asthma type attacks which then stopped and turned into the shakes and head Tics.
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The hallucinations now are more true hallucinations than before as things that aren't there, as opposed to distortions of things that are, mind you I am still getting the minor distortions as faces on tv, and the statue's face in my lounge was distorted yesterday evening.
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Hey ho , such is life....

I haven't put anything here for a while, 4 weeks. I went to Shrink(phychiatrist) this morning and said I am getting continual Alien hallucinations and voices sometimes, my new toy lamb spoke to me from in a bag a couple of days ago, crazy huh!
The cutting and burning on my arm continues, fortunately/unfortunately the burns done with a very hot nail head heated on cooker on my arm take sometime to heal so reduce the need to keep re-doing it. I keep it clean with TCP and antiseptic cream as infection could me hospital which means people, and strangers at that, which I don't need right now. Strangely keeping it clean means washing out burn to clean it which makes it look like a fresh burn, which I like which is odd, well doing it in first place is blooming odd anyway! The Shrink today thought the self harm is anxiety based, I thought that already.
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Shrink thinks the anxiety might be difficult to get rid of, so do I. The paranoia is really bad now, like crossing road to check small van lights for a hidden camera. Clearly this is odd behaviour which must look to an outsider like I am checking out van to steal it so I must resist urge to do it!

Fortunately I have told Shrink now so if stopped by police or something it is on record!.
In general Shrink thinks all the hallucinations are still anxiety based in that they are triggered by stress so Shrink will continue me on new depression/anxiety medication(and 2 anxiety meds already on) and see how it goes.
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it sees odd that I might have to play say close up van checking for a self harm arm burn to avoid problems. The burn is really more prefferable than trouble with Police!!

Haven't cyber-seen you around a lot lately. I hope all is well and that you're just on holiday (and not sufferin from flu or something).

I'm off for a few days myself, hope to run into you when I get back

I am ok, thanks, I just post less!

I was wondering too SS. Glad you are as as can be. Don't stay away too long. I miss your wildlife posts.

Websailor

phychosis according to shrink now, no great surprise since Virgin Mary talks to me daily.

clearly there is a chance this is or will develope into schizophrenia due to my chronic anxiety. That holds no fear anymore.

If it is, it is controllable I believe, provided the medication is right and taken as prescribed. If it holds no fears, and you can come to understand it I am sure that will help.



Websailor

I enjoy talking with Virgin Mary, strange but true!

To each his own, as they say

Websailor

Okay, still talking to Virgin Mary daily which I enjoy. God asked me to be the new Son Of God, but in a non religeous way as I am not. His task is for me to fight and contain the 666 Slime Devil that lives behind my tv. To contain it I have a 6 foot tinfoil cross on wall with smaller ones, a 666 sign in my blood and several cruxifixes. I am to kill the Devil too who sleeps on my bedroom ceiling and skulks in flat above. The Devil is tall, red and black, cloven hoofed and has crab like hands, and of course horns on his head. My shrink said I can have anti~phychotic medication if hallucinations bother me, but they dont.

Maybe the meds would help to keep you grounded.... I don't know. The important thing I suppose it that you know they are hallucinations and, obviously, not act on what you have the impression is being said.

Hang in there Strangely!

I haven't come across you in many threads recently. I hope you're keeping up with the bird-watching.

The problem is that at
the very moment it happ
ens I lose touch. The o
ther day the 666 creatu
re ran from behind tv s
o jumped up to fight it
and it ran back. It seems illogical but has been in my mind so long it can become normal