h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I may have seen them on a site of a slightly erotic nature

Not that I was looking of course

Indeed, you're paragon of virtue. That sort of thing would only appeal to dirty, filthy Scotsmen.

Oh, of course, of course

*Watches the sitting the corner with suspicion*

Ooh! Panda! Can I pet it? Can I keep it? Will it bite me? It's so cute! Can I keep it?

Yes.
No. He's Moaist freedom fighter.
Probably. He's got a real mean streak that one.
He is, but cute things are inheirently Evil.
Oh, OK, you can keep him, but don't blame me if he kills you in a popular uprising.

A little evil can be a good thing...wait, what am I talking about, this is a panda?! Anyway, I always wanted to be killed in an interesting manner.

Yes, he's a ... just one that's never more than 3 feet from his Kalashnikov...

Ah, well in that case I'd say he was the perfect pet for you.

:blinks: His what?

Yaay! I know what to ask for christmas now!

Kalashnikov.
Also known as the AK-74 Assault rifle
Developed: 1974
Caliber: 5.45mm
Cartridge: 5.45x39
Magazine capacity: 30
Loaded weight: 3.600g
Killing range: 1,350m

Though don't ask me what the velocity of a bullet leaving the muzzle is...

I love it when a guy talks guns at me

Not something I'm in the habbit of, don't even own a gun anymore... probably for the best as I'm sure I would have executed someone by now if I did...

I'd really love to know more about guns, what with thems and motorbikes I'd be set for life.

Now to cause further disappointment, I don't even own a car, let alone a beautiful, fast throbbing motorbike.

And yet you still manage to get me wroked up...

Ha. I'm not as much as you do me...

We'll just have to see about that...

Indeed we shall.