h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I came home last Thursday and there was a crow pacing back and forth in the window sill of my room. Apperently he (or she) came in through the chimeny. My fireplce window was slightly ajar so I figure that was the way it entered my locked room. Not much was disturbed in my room, a few droppings here and there, a small pile of Mad magazines fallen to the floor, a few toiletries knocked over in front of a mirror. I dont know how long it was in my room, I opened the window and set it free.
I think he (or she) owes me one, if my chimeny flew was closed it may have died in there. Whenever I eat at Mcdonalds, which isn't very often, I always throw a few fries to the crows.

Counting crows...

One for sorrow
Two for mirth
Three for a wedding
Four for a birth
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for secrets untold
Eight for heaven
Nine for hell
Ten for the devil himself

(well, that's waht came to mind for me...although there was a shorter on in Nick Cave's book that I keep forgetting...)

Sorry i wasnt on longer
After i was through typing my dad asked if i was ready to go home...
which is a hint for me to pack up.
Ive been busy working on the garage here (at his girlfriends house)
We've replaced ,any of the support in the foundation and now we're preping to paint.

When me and my dad work, we work till it gets dark so i barely have time to use his pc. I'm here early today just so i can use it.
Course since its Friday here it's Saturday there and You're not here


I may be close to a job, Ive hooked up with a place called Labor Works. They fill positions on a temporary basis, all i have to do is get up at 5am and hope theres something there for me.

Well I'll be back as soon as I can, Probly Sunday (my time)
Dad and his woman are going to Canada for the weekend and I'll be here doing a little work and using the pc

Catchya l8ter

Ah...silly families...don't they understand that you're supposed to be entertaining me ?

Oh well, on the plus side, at leats you have distraction, which is always lovely...there's not a lot worse (in my opinion) than having all the time in the world and nothing to do...when I get bored I do the stupidest things...in fact, I'm saer to be around when I'm drunk than when I'm bored

I will light a candle that all goes well with the labour people...I know for a while my Dad was doing something similar and it worked out alright for him...so I will keep my fingers crossed

Don't be a stranger !

Hey there
***waves his mighty ***
i got a few hours to play

Can Tanzen come out and play?

Hey Jerk, how the hell are ya ??

I'm glad that we actually happened to be on at the same time for a change !

Ah yes, it's the little thing that make life worth all the bother

Just sittin here munchin on carrots and mayo

Dads in Canada with his girly

Yes, although you hardly count as a little thing...on second thoughts, I think I might just skip the whole conversation I had in my head in regard to little things...I'm not awake enough to be entirely accountable for my actions or indeed words

So you're living the high life then, are you sunshine? Got the place to yourself, and it all becomes about the internet and vegetables...you nut !

they're supposed to be back around 9pm tonite, then ill go home a little later.

im multitasking right now, tryin to type and watch the Simpsons at the same time.kinda hard to do since i cant touch type.

so... tell me about your harem

Ah, I always you were were a mulit-talented kinda guy though !!

I'm suprised you would hopn on the computer when you have the whole house to yourself...granted, last time I went over to my folks it was to hijack their computer...but my brothers and sisters were there, so I couldn't really do any "home alone" stuff...like blaring the music, eating all their food and running up and down the halls singing

(I can't do it at my place...I live in a block of flats and anything I did would be easily heard by my rotten, evil neighbours ....)

I don't know if there's a lot to be said about the harem just yet...at last count I had four boys and four girls (not including me)...but I may have to think about it because I may have left some people out...I don't know....I mean, in theory, a harem is lots of fun ...no one ever mentions how much work goes into organising it all ...

know what youo mean about neighbors, that @hole still shares the basement with me, sometimes he out of nowhere starts yellin from in his room, sayin get out of here(the house) and "im not gonna warn you again"
He wins the rotten neighbor award

another reason to become employed again, so i can move elswhere.
cant believe he stole my fork, geez. i know he did it.
I Peed in his plants a few weeks ago i saw yesterday that one was dead, sittin next to the trash can
I realy hate him

this could turn into a rant so ill quit it

Oh, sounds like you live next to the coolest person ever !

I have neighbours that will not approach me (I think they're scared of me ) but have on three seperate occassions complained to the landlords or my guests about the use of my car park. Apparently they don't like the fact that other people use my space...mostly because they want to use it...flippin' creeps....

And although I am a big fan of your plan of attack, I don't really think I could pee on their plants

He left em outside one night, and i hada Brilliant Idea

hes complained to the landlord lady about me, and HES the one yellin all the time. Yea, hes the best
I got a recording of him yelling, its only a couple seconds long but I intend to add to it, then present it to the landlady.
get him booted out mwahahahaa

dont let my name fool you (gently) im a real jerk sometimes

We all have our moments...personally, I am the spawn of evil...and as a result am, the very epitome of the most pure, most diabolical evil...but for some reason no one ever believes me...

(I don't know how the mods would feel about "Jerk Hard" anyway )

wonder what they think of my name anyway.
it is, after all, just a play on Dirk Gently, holistic detective

some people, not me think ALL women are evil
always tempting us helpless men

***throws down his priest collar***

I knew the refence, I just haven't read the book...(I'm falling behind on my reading, lazy, terrible person that I am...)

And as for the theory that all women are evil, I am inclined to agree...I mean, it's possible that there is a woman alive who hasn't a shred of evil in her, but how likely is it?

Having said that I have three older sisters and went to an all girls school...so I have a subconscious prejudice against women...although I think everyone has a little evil in them...and if they don't I'm not entirely sure I'd want to meet them...

ya, the pious are no fun, and its good to be bad

the court system sure appreciates my efforts

In my line of work I tend to come across a few too many self-righteous people...I have no probblems with people of faith...each to their own I figure...but it's people who hide behind religion to encourage hate and general mean stuff that pi$$ me off...

relgious bigots=losers

Im out for the nite, ride is here.
see ya later...soon, asap

Amen to that

(pardon the pun )

Well off with ye then, I'll just float about and see what I can do ot amuse myself

catch you soon, son