h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sadly a friend's mum died leaving Judy. Judy is about 5 but we're not exactly sure. She has a black face and white shoulders and looks more like a border collie than anything else - but she's not a border collie.
Judy had the big kennel in the sky threatened if nobody could look after her. We jumped in never having had a Judy (or butch, foo-foo fido or ho-yus before).
"Welcome to your new pack Judy. This is the alpha male - the one with the long stained vest; this is the alpha female - the one with the sensitive side and company car; this is not the lodger but may move out when a suitable job appears and she can afford to share a flat with a friend; this is your best friend who wanted you more than anything else in the world and boy had you better be loving towards this one or the big kennel in the sky will become a much likelier option; this is the ex-lodger with a family of her own whom you will see only 5 or 6 times a week depending on the contents of her fridge; this is the family of her own canIpullthedogstailandgetawaywithitbecausei'mlittleandcute the smallest member of the pack".
Judy:"Grrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Right that's it, call the vet, buy a muzzle till he gets here, lock her in the broom cupboard!"
Judy *yawns rolls on floor and wags tail*

Awww little doggy woggy! are you keeping her then?

It may take her a while to get used to the little ones..specially as shes a bit older..

We are keeping her. We've had her since just before Crimbo and she's pretty much settled in now.