This is a Journal entry by nadia
Monday monday
nadia Started conversation May 12, 2003
Still trying to push forward to the elopement, but I can't get started. It's gotten stale and I just want them to elope already, not a great frame of mind to be in when trying to write. I've been cycling through ideas at a furious rate, trying to settle on something to liven it up, but nothing has stuck yet. I've gone back to Portrait... and 1930 in STW's diaries and letters, to try and garner inspiration but they are both such different situations, emotionally and physically, to the one I'm creating, that I'm not finding anything relevant in it. Though parts of it should be very usefull later, if only as a basis of what I don't want it to be.
If only I could be happy to write just anything to make it move on and get to a place where I'm happy with it. I mean, this is a first draft, it's not supposed to be all in place and perfect. But having problems with it completely stalls me. If I try to bull past the problems I know that they'll sit there like a leden weight on the rest of the prose, niggling at my attention and distracting me, souring what I'm trying to write. I can't even switch to the present time half for a break because I haven't done the research and I can't start over with it till I do.
The pressure of knowing that I'm falling behind and not meeting the word count goals I've set myself isn't helping either. There are too many distractions and irritations and the more I sit here trying to make myself write the more irritated I get. Irritation does not lead to a happy plentitude of good prose.
Buggerbuggerbuggerbugger.
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Monday monday
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