h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Puppy continues reign of destruction. Am beginning to truly understand how cuteness is a survival mechanism – ONLY reason he has not yet been skinned and used as floor covering.

Day progressed from banal to bizarre. Amazonian-Spanish-photography-teacher had mentioned she had contract for work beginning Saturday morning. Rings at 4pm Friday asking if ok to borrow camera. Am so stunned by question that adopt possum approach and fall into deathly silence. Amazonian-Spanish-photography-teacher takes silence for indecision and becomes loud and panicky. Decide possums don’t have any clue about human relationships and are not very intelligent mammals anyway. Desperately flail about in own mind for different approach to situation at hand. Amazonian-loud-panicky-Spanish-photography-teacher becomes even more desperate and begins to offer cash for use of camera. In sheer fright put her off by saying will think about proposition and ring her back. Manage to get her off phone and fall into chair in state bordering catatonia.

Muster resources and ring love of life for moral support. Not very sensible move as love of life says decision solely mine. Hang up from love of life thoroughly dissatisfied with answer and decide to ring professional photographer friend. Buoyed by professional photographer friend’s answer that Amazonian-loud-panicky-Spanish-photography-teacher is also somewhat insane and not entirely professional (as everyone *knows* professionals carry at least two camera bodies at all times just in case first one goes to pieces at last minute!). Ring Amazonian-loud-panicky-somewhat insane-not entirely professional-Spanish-photography-teacher to tell her of new resolve. Amazonian-loud-panicky-somewhat insane-not entirely professional-Spanish-photography-teacher on phone so line busy. Torn between sheer relief of escape from intimidation and irritation at not being able to enact new-found assertiveness. Go about own business of herding love children and puppy around. Amazonian-loud-panicky-somewhat insane-not entirely professional-Spanish-photography-teacher rings back saying all ok, has fixed problem with camera, doesn’t need mine after all. Feel like I should have been thankful she chose me to borrow camera from, however am not at all thankful. Eternally grateful that Amazonian-loud-panicky-somewhat insane-not entirely professional-Spanish-photography-teacher’s camera was fixed and thus problem averted.

Decide this is cosmic message confirming decision never to go back to photography class.

What a day!

I just wanted to pop over and say hello
You had so kindly added great suggestions to the article I was working on. Pedboy is taking the article to peer review.

Looks like you stay very busy!
I hope you enjoy hootoo in the future.
It would be nice to see you again.