h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

..about any car I own that encourages mindless drunken oiks to smash the back window into smithereens

Because it's mine?
(unlikely, I'd have thought)

Because it's not theirs and therefore not important?
(in which case if it's not important, why bother doing anything to it?)

Because they don't like the colour? Or had a rough childhood?

Or what?

And frankly who damned well cares what their reason might be?
Vandalism is vandalism whatever an apparent excuse.



3.00am this morning I get woken up by the lads "Mum...the police are here and want to see you!"

"Meh. Wha'for"

"Mu-um! Wake Up!"

M'mmf. Yeah. Have you got your key?"

"MUM! There's a naked man!"

"Really? Where?"

"No, not really, but there are 2 coppers outside waiting to see you"


Dressing gown on, glasses on, slippers on... stomp - lurch- stomp downstairs -yawning hugely.

"Good morning officers"

"We've just arrested a man who's smashed your car's back windscreen Mrs Cake"

"Oh"

The mouth and brain ran on automatic for the duration of the interview, only clicking into reality the once when they suggested I "Went and parked my car somewhere more safe whilst I got it repaired"

It's 3.15am (I know, I'm not a swift mover first thing), it's bucketing heavens hard. The boot will be full of glass, and I've taken double painkillers and a hefty sleeping tablet, so if I do get in to drive, I'll probably be had up for driving without due care and attention.

But thank you for letting me know, I'll wait until daylight before I survey the damage.

7.00am (yes, I know, on a ing Sunday Up, dressed, washed and armed only with 2 plastic bin liners, a reel of parcel tape and a pair of nail scissors I went to the quiet, out of the way residential street where I usually park my car within the designated permitted parking bays.

Yep. Back windscreen *definately* smashed to smithereens - until you've experienced it, you really would *not* believe the amount of glass shards a windscreen can become. The boot was filled, the back seats covered, even the passenger's and driver's seat splattered with the damned stuff.

But, as before, nothing had been nicked. A rather expensive "Pendle Witch" I have hanging from the rear view mirror was still flying on her broomstick, showing off her black bloomers and H2 badge... my Disability badge and clock were still blu tacked to the front fascia. The CD player was still in it's hiding place, and no one rated my musical tastes highly enough to even nick a CD.

I didn't half say a few choice words about the rotten (possibly illegitermate personage) who thought it was a good idea to put his size 11 foot thru the window - I cut my fingers to shreds trying gingerly tape the plastic bin bags I'd brought, over the damage

Anyway, as luck would have it, I bumped into the really stunning looking copper who was trying to find me to make a statement. (Think Richard Hammond only taller, hunkier and less pocket sized)

According to him, the miscreant claimed he was so drunk he "Fell into my car by accident"

H'mm. As I'd checked for bricks and bloodstains BEFORE I began my clear up I rather doubt *that* version of event, somehow.

He wrote out my statement for me, and it really saddened me to see that it's now standard to include the phrase "I did not give anyone any form of permission whatsoever to damage my vehicle" - or words to that effect, anyway -incase some smart lawyer points out that no-one had TOLD his client he couldn't do that.

Honestly! Words fail me. Bang goes my cherished theory that the Law was there to protect everyone. It does seem to me that it's becoming more and more slanted towards protecting the aggressor first and the victim second nowadays.

But then, as I'm the victim here, my p-o-v *would be slanted. Naturally.



So I've made a claim, the Glaziers are having to order a wind screen for me and won't be able to do it until Tuesday, and I have confirmed that I am quite willing, if it comes to a court case I will appear in court.

Bank holiday weekends?

Pah!

You can keep 'em!

Oh, Ev, I am so sorry. The was coming out of my ears as I read your post. Is nothing sacred any more? Of course if the punishment fitted the crime (ever) things might be a bit different.

There is no doubt that there is no thought for the victim, and every consideration given to the criminals. I bet it won't even get to court!

I must say though, that I am surprised the police bothered- I don't think they would here!

We haven't had a car for years, and though it is sometimes an inconvenience, I am rather glad we haven't as it just seems so much hassle, to put it mildly.

I hope it gets sorted soon. Take care


Websailor

Hiya Webbie

(I haven't forgotten the October date It's on my calender, when I can find the darned thing!)

I think the police bothered, mainly because the little fiat I drove last year was trashed 3 times in a year - once the wing mirrors were ripped off, once the thing was overturned by a gang of oiks into the middle of a thru road and was causing an obstruction and the third time some little dea..yep.. you guessed it, smashed the back windscreen

And I did kick up a bit of a stink about lack of CCTV cameras and things.

But I think the main reasen they bothered was that they'd made an arrest and were dying to tell someone!

That's probably a bit harsh, really. Our coppers do seem to try, but they have too much paper work, too few hours and too few resources from our local council to do their jobs as well as they'd like.

It *will come to court - because even if the bugger *does pay me compensation as he says he will, I shall STILL press charges against him.

Yes, I have insurance. But I still have had to pay £75.00 I don't have to spare towards it.

But he's put me to inconvenience - I've cut my hands clearing up the mess he made. I'd planned to go driving today and couldn't..and my plans to go to Ashford and see my friends tomorrow have had to be shelved.

The fact that Jane and Phil have said they'll come to me is neither here nor there - is the little so and so who banjaxed my car (and by default my legs/transport) prepared to compensate *them* petrol money they hadn't planned on spending, I wonder?

I doubt it!!!

I'm getting to be a reactionary old tory in my old age, I think.

Before, I'd have just shrugged and said "Oh well"

Now ... now I'm not prepared to put an inconvenience thru no fault of my own on the back burner of "Oh well-ness"

If he can afford to pay enough to get himself soo drunk that he trashes someone elses property, then he can damned well afford to take the consequences!


Oooh I hope he had an absolutely vile hangover and no asprins and coffee to make life nice for him in the morning. I know it's no fun waking up in a police cell...but it's not that much fun trying to tape bin bags over broken glass in the pi$$ing rain, either!

Where did this soap box come from?

Clambers down slightly embarressed at how I am about it all.

I could crush a grape!

Well you really let off there didn't you, and after all that lot I don't blame you. I hope you felt a little better for it. The inconvenience is almost as bad as the expense as it has gone a long way to spoiling your weekend.

Take care, and make the best of what the has left you. I wonder what sort of family he comes from? I reckon a good dose of the birch should be brought back asap, and I would have no qualms about administering it, would you?

Bunch of grapes more like

Websailor

I can quite understand your Evadne. No wonder you're cross. Disrespect for people's lives and goods is totally bewildering.

I hope you can get it fixed tomorrow and that some kind of compensation is available. Over here, the cops certainly wouldn't have turned up: there are tales that they don't attend house break-ins any more. Too many houses, too few police. In that situation, it's no wonder that people take the law into their own hands.

The little glimmer of a silver lining seems to have been the tall Richard Hammond lookalike copper

Good luck
Fb

Hello Frenchbean, and welcome

Ho Yes! PC Lookalike was certainly a nice bit of Silver Lining

Ah... if only I'd have been 20 years younger, eh?

(Acually, if I'd have been 20 years younger I'd have been blushing like a school girl, stuttering, stammering and incapeable of saying anything to him, so p'raps I'm better off being older and articulate.)

It doesn't surprise me folk take the law into their own hands either. I'll give you a case in point.

This January past, I was walking down the street, back to my house; just gone 7.00pm,when walking towards me were 2 new lads in town. New guys, in their early thirties, I'd say. No problem there; the pavement was quite wide enough for them to pass around me, or vice versa.

But oh no! These 2 decided it would be fun to wind a wrinkly up; as I moved to the left, they did..and so on.

I really wasn't in the mood for this; I'd had an absolutely cr*ap day, I was cold, tired and hungry.

So I stood there, leaning on my stick and looked them up and down a bit.

They grinned and nudged each other and got ready to continue winding me up.

I lifted up my stick like a sword - they flinched - and I lurched rapidly between them, taking the opportunity to give each of the a wee flick with the end of my stick

...and then scuttled like hell home before they recovered from the surprise

I wasn't frightened at the time, I was just angry at their ignorance. But I shook and had a quick cry afterwards. Especially when I realised that they were the 2 we'd had warnings about - they'd already mugged an old man and put him in hospital, and beaten up a 15yr old lad badly enough to break his leg

I mentioned it to my sons, who mentioned it to a few of their mates, in passing.

I love the youth of today; they public spiritedly let the local coppers know where these 2 hung out, and surprise surprise they were arrested. Well; I assume that's what happened. Put it like this, the New Guys were off the street very rapidly.

Sometimes, the Law just needs a helping hand, I guess.

Oh I think that's a fine bit of law-handing Good for you I particularly like the stick-clip for each of the miscreants

I'm not surprise you had a shake afterwards though...

Fb

There was a message for me on the ansaphone from the detective who is dealing with my case waiting for me, this morning

Apparently the person concerned has bee charged with Criminal Damage to my car "and one other", he's been bailed for the time being, and the Court Case will be in 2 week's time.



I'll await the outcome with interest.

Keep us posted. I'll be interested to see justice done

Actually I think natural justice has already been done in a way - I finally found out what exactly happened during the wee small hours of the Bank Holiday Saturday.

The little road where I parked that night is behind the seafront, and it's one way. How in order to turn the "right" way so you're facing towards the main High Street a driver can do one of two things:

(a) Park facing the seafront and fiddle faddle about either doing a 3 point turn or drive into one car park's entrance and the out the other when the Chocolates Soldiers arn't peeping in order to be facing the right way

OR
(
(b) do what I happened to do this particular evening, and do all the fiddle faddling before, and park the car facing the right way, so you can just drive smugly out, nice and easy.


Now a majority of people opt for (a), so I was the only car facing bonnet "front" in a line of cars. Bear this in mind,as it's a bit relevant!

O-K fast forward to around 3.00am; it was the last night of our local festival, we'd had our highlight of the year, a fifteen minute firework display (they spare no expense or trouble or effort in our neck of the woods) and every man and his dog who'd gone out was more than a wee bit wobbly from drink.

Which is not surprising, as there's all open at 3.00am, except for the pubs, the clubs a couple of chippers

A group of men were asked very politely to leave the pub as they were well ready to go home and sleep it off, and one of them had a bit of a hissy fit. HE wasn't drunk... oh no, not he!

"Look!" he said (apparently) after staggering down the alleyway short cut leading past where my nice quiet little residential road lurked quietly "I'm not drunk...there's a nice line of cars there...look! I'll jump from car roof to bonnet and onto the next car roof. THAT'll show em I'm not drunk"


Erm... Be aware, dear reader, that my car was 2nd in line, with my back windscreen facing the car behind's bonnet.



So the guy got up impetus, and leapt onto the first car's boot.. leapt onto the roof, gaining impetus, down onto the bonnet at speed ready to leap onto my boot, roof and bonnet to do it all again

I really ought to point out that I've got a very deep, slopey back windscreen, and very very boot protruberence as well.



I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall - his expression must have been worth gold: - No bonnet! No car to bounce off!

And oh bugger... no street cred! he's fallen into someone's boot,the jack handle is probably embedded somewhere delicate (with a bit of luck) and there's glass everywhere!

And here come the Plod!



Yes, he was damned lucky not to have hurt himself badly; how he didn't get a scratch on him I'll never know, but it is said that god protects idiots, drunks and little children


I bet he won't do *that again in a hurry

Nice one Ev. I shall be interested in seeing justice done too Do you think we shall see pigs fly

Take care,

Websailor

Oh that's priceless, Ev

"...but it is said that god protects idiots, drunks and little children..."
yea! I'm protected on all three fronts

That's not protection, 2 Legs - that's sheer blind good luck in your case!

sure is

Apparently young laddy buck who wrecks cars is in front of the magistrates at the local Yoof Court tomorrow.

And, apparently, as he's going to plead guilty - I fail to see how he could do otherwise, I get compensation.

Though, as the liason officer remarked to me over the phone this morning, it all depends on the financial position of the miscreant or his parents as to how fast I'll get it.

H'mm.

Let me get this right.

Last Bank Holiday Saturday I had my car smashed, and in order to get it fixed I had to claim from my insurance company, and find £75.00 Excess to pay towards it.

With no prior warning whatsoever.


The kid who smashes my car KNOWS he's got to go to court and pay (HE and his familly have 10 days notice) but *might not be able to afford to pay it off in one hit because he's financially challenged.


H'mmm.






Is it me, or is there something wrong with this picture?

Society does get things arse about face at times, doesn't it? There seems to be more concern about the long-term health of offenders, than the long-term impacts of their actions upon law-abiding members of the community.

I hope you get your compensation, Ev. And promptly.

Let me know if it's delayed and I'll threaten to send round my three big brothers to duff 'im up

(Actually, this is a completely empty threat: my three big brothers are teddybears who run at the first sign of any trouble )

Fb