h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well I almost* had a PGCE after my name too : I did once ago have a lifetime goal of ending up with more letters after my name, than actual* letters in* my name the PGCE would have helped a lot with that, and then I was planning on a PhD as well.... hmmm..... 2legs PhD PGCE MSc BSc SSC BSC (silver and bronze swimming certificates?; do they count...oooo and I did bronze and silver D of E
2legs PhD PGCE MSc BSc BDoE SDoe BSC SSC

Hey! I think we're time twins!


Evadne Cake:

ITEC(dipx4= Idegree, although I didn't know it) Which means I'm a Bch Sc. or BS (I think)

C&G Stage Teachers 1:

R A Music (up to Grade 7)(failed got 6 in a row though - and Andrew Lloyd Webber's dad passed us!)

O.N.C Business Studies (failed; fell asleep during Accountancy and Economics) S**t hot in English, History and Law though

They're just the official ones I could be bothered to take seriously. I don't count Bronze Medal swimming.

Did you say you were going to risk the Broardstairs Folk Festival?

In which case, could you have a serious look(and laugh) at my PC?

Per lees?
please?

One problem tho. I can't attatch pictures to emails.

Web Sailor is going to think I'm just waffling

Whats up with the PC then? the thinggy.... Broadstairs.... err... maybe.... not sure what I've got holiday time left at the moment, or what I can bunk off on the QT is there beer at this thing then? Just remembered I've some funny BTec or some such qualification too.... can't even remember what it was in, we had to do it at the same time as doing our A levels at college... some government plan thinggy that never took off I think hey, I just remembered I got student o the year when I was doing A levels at college... and got a stupid book voucher for some mineute amount as a prize think I gave the voucher to my Brother Mind, unless anyone beat me I still have the highest percentage award for any degree in the science dept at my undergrad uni if only I could remember anythign of which I studied damn... its late again and I had other stuff I wanted to do today

Me, I always scraped thru everything on a wing and a prayer ; Unless I failed, in which case I did it spectacularly -5% for mis spelling my name, once



Hey...I hated the subject with a passion. I still can't spell fissix properly, either.

Strikes me I must have gone to your dad's school of thought -grasp the absolute basics of a subject and waffle like hell! As long as you *appear to know what you're talking about, I've found you can get away with absolute murder.

How else do you think I landed anoccasional Supply Teaching job in Eire? I had no teacher's qualifications, I hadn't read half the set curriculum for the Leaving Cert's course

I used to speed read a couple of chapters of everything the night before

BUT... I had done a couple of Guest Lectures at the school in creative writing/drama workshops and managed to keep 150 13 year olds under reasenable control

Apart from the one time young Paddy Joe decided to try and fly out of an open window whilst doing his interuptation of a helicopter. But that doesn't count


As for Broardstairs... yes... we do have Public Houses in Broardstairs, and they *have been known to sell beverages of a Beery persuasion.

As for dates, you're better off asking MMF rather than relying on me to find out and get back to you, as I have the attentionspan of a goldfish when it comes to dates.

If it's Beer you're after, then may I suggest the Faversham Hop Festival?

That has music, Morris Dancers, Market Stalls selling almost anything that's interesting.

But mainly it involves a specially brewed Festival Brew that I can really recommend

oooo wends the hop festavil? I seem to recall roymondo and I almost but not quite entirely making it along to that last time aorund.... I even specially practised hopping before that one, so I can always start practising how to hop again now beforehand so I don't get embarased myself when I turn up not being able to hop and a hop festavil.... do they hop very high at the festavil, or very fast? I guess there could be all manner of hopping, including the famous Barington Winstone 1982 crindge hop, I never could master that one, perhaps now is the time to try ooo they've beer? excellent

Now stop it. You're just being about this,arn't you?

You get handed a free pogo stick as soon as you get off the train at Faversham, so there's absolutely no need for you to practice complicated stuff like hopping















http://www.swale.gov.uk/hopfestival/

I've been practising.....
I even managed to do the Barington Winstone 1982 crindge hop, for five minutes without 'tentpoling'* last night... unfortunately I was quite drunk though, and doing it on the landing of the staircase... and eventually I 'doubletented'** Luckily though my friend was at the bottom of the stairs so I aimed for his head and it totally broke my fall

*'tentpoling' Technical term used by professional hoppers to describe a situeation where during a hop one leg becomes dominant over the other giving a sideways/uneven balance to the hop

**'Doubletented' A situation in which a male in his mid thirty's and who is overweight makes an arse of himself whilst drunk and attempting a far too complexed hop action in an inappropiate location.

ooo pogo sticks

2egs, you're as odd as 2 left shoes m'dear

And thank gawd you are, too

Going back to Money for Old Rope, I took my "Art", together with some of the necklaces etc I'd made and some chest of drawers(little ones) I'd decorated down to the Craft/Boot Fayre over the weekend,

(together with a boot load of Stuff I wanted to get rid of, preferably for Cash rather than just pass on to the Charity Shops)

mainly to get people's opinions.

I was pleasantly surpised, not only at the generally positive comments I received, but also at the amount of Stuff we'd gotten bored with I managed to shift- I came back around2 suit cases lighter than when I arrived,and made about £20 clear once I'd taken the pitch fee into account.

None of the Arty Stuff was sold, but then, I didn't expect it to be; but people seemed to like what I did,and on the beach this afternoon as well as getting disgracefully sun burned, I meandered on the shore line and found some shells and bits of sea flotsam I *think*I could use when I get enough samples and foul ups together from the forays into the beading.

After all,for every item I make, there's at least one practice run, because I like to experiment with different texture beads,different sizes and different colour combinations before I make an Executive Decision, it shouldn't take too long to amass enough Odds and Ends to have another play.

H'mm.

I wonder how I go about persuading my local library into displaying my (ahem) Hand Crafted Creations.


Complete strangers told me yesterday I have a real flair, so I may as well continue with it for a while yet.

I've got to find *something* that earns me an income... and as the Local Supermarket have turned my application down, it looks as if Self promotion and Self Employment is the way to go.

Sorry to hear your offer to help out the poor supermarket was turned down. Silly s, look at all the fun they missed!

It sounds as if you have had two good days which is nice.

Websailor

I half-expected to see a post detailing the pieces entry into the next turner compeitition ACtually; you a fan of fancy little glass beads and thigns?: I'm a bit of a fan too though I prefer the larger ones (I'll have to wear my hippy necklace thinggys I stung up next time I@m down)... I think* somewhere I should have a bag of millions of little funny class beads; far too small for me to put them on a leather piece to go round my neck, I guess they're ment to be sewn on to clothing (they've very* incy ickle holes in them and thread would be about the only thing that'd fit though).... I could have a look to see if I could find where they are... I've really no idea shiney thigns thiney things me likes the shiney things

Yeah... you're right there.. the daft so&so's just don't realise what they've let slip away, do they

Ah well, Morrisons will just have to learn to cope without me,I guess

And I'll just have to spend more time on the beach rummaging for Flotsam and Jetsom.

It's a tough old life,sometimes

Oooh! 2Legs has got likkul beadettes looking for a home

Seriously, they sound exactly thesort of size I use, so if you really don't want' em I'll look after them for you I could even make you a shiney hippy trippy necklace as a trade for em if you'd like.




I saw....


A Pogo stick for sale this morning

AND it was black, as well

Had I not been loaded up with 2 bin bags of Stuff I'd bought at bargain price

(a King Size Duvet and complete set of bedding to go with it, for a whole 150p if you must know)

i'd have bought it for you

I've a sneeking suspecsion that a pogo stick oriontated meet is just about the corner Strange thing is... I don't even think as a Kid I had the balance and coordination to use one sucessfully
I'll have to remember to try and remmber to try and hunt those beads down... I've a sneeking idea I might know where they are... behind the door with all the computer stuff in front of it (my secret room that I cna't get into becuase of having too many comptuer thigns)

STOP THE PRESS!

I spent a couple of days up at The Mothers this week,and she asked to see The Picture so I took it along. Rather warilly,I might add.


Not only did she quite like it,she said, when asked how much she reckoned i could get away with asking her reply was 50 quid! "If it's a posh gallery". Now, her idea and mine of what a "posh"gallery are probably poles apart, but we've got some nicely presented Arty Farty galleries in the next town along from me which might be persuaded to display them for me. I've already found one more local to The Mothers who will do the same thing, so I'll be bootling up to themas soon as the adhesive has set properly

I'm so amazed at that I've spent the rest of the week either beach combing for interesting looking shells and things

(I can' t wait till we have a nice big storm because on occasions the beach gets absolutely littered with cuttle fish shells)

or up to my elbows in glue, Stuff, and creativity

And a certain amount of surprised disbelief, too.



It'd be a gas if it actually took off,wouldn't it?


Oh well; if nothing else comes of it, at least I've got a great tan...and I've been swimming in the sea a couple of times as well.

It was ruddy freezin' but great fun

I bet the see was really bluddy cold!
Just don't forget, as your 'art critic' I'll have to take 1% of your profets in kind (jam, walnut bread etc)

Ev,

If it takes off I think 2legs could be persuaded to accept 2%, what do you think

That's brilliant and a great boost to your confidence, and from the Mother too Amazing!!

I hope all goes well for you. I should be working!!

Websailor

Working? what is this work of which you speak... oh bugger... yeh I'm ment to be doing that too

2Legs- check your in box for details of the Fashersham Festival

Got it... so I've got the sofa?

Yes.

I thought you liked leather?


I think at*least* 2percent would be pretty reasonable Webbie. It'll probably be in Beer,(and walnut bread; and jam, of course) anyway.

Mind you,I'm revising my opinion of the money for old rope scenario; I've had an idea to do a seascape, and the calculator reckons I'll need around 180 beads per square inch of "sea"done in a particually fiddly pattern if it's to turn out as I want it to. That's a lot of fiddle!

Still; it beats the hell out of housework and running around like a bluebottomed fly getting the last bits of Eldest's Birthday present together.

The little beast is 21 tomorrow