h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*thinks there's a big hole with spikes at the bottom round the corner*

*can be heard shouting round the corner*

Stupid people! Why do they always leave manhole covers open!

Why not?

Because its dangerous.

So?

and

Your point being?

Ralph, I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but aren't you dead?

06:50 got up
06:55 got washed and dressed
07:15 left for w*rk (walking)
07:35 got to w*rk (yippee)
07:45 get cup of tea and two cups of orange squash
08:30 eat first savoury egg thing (mum buys them, they're alright)
09:00 eat second egg thing (they're actually quite morish)
09:45 log onto H2G2
10:50 write this entry
15:00 go for late lunch
15:30 go back to office
17:30 put earring back in (supervisor goes home
17:30 - 19:30 play on H2G2
19:45 go home
20:15 cook dinner (chicken and mushroom pie with chips and beans)
20:45 wash up
21:00 log onto H2G2
23:00 log off. go to bed

ps. you sure you don't wanna share that banoffee pie?

I'm sure I only get rations compared to everyone else.

So you see the personal remark I made, well I know you like B'pie as well.

*shares pie*

I got a bigger piece than usual today, only because one of mates was in the bakery this morning.

Yes, I am dead, I just haven't stopped moving yet.

*kicks him to make him stop moving whilst scoffing pie*

*supernaturally steals some pie*

*jumps up and down on Ralphs thieving supernatural hand and snatches back the famous banoffee pie*

yum!

*feels sorry for supernatural Ralph so gives him back some pie*

*gives Creachy a supernatural and scoffs the pie*

So you've decided you're dead now?

Well, sort of.