h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

and also disturbingly true that I was sent in an email -maybe it will make you laugh. Anymore of these sort of things would be appreciated - would make a great guide entry I think!

> > Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
> > > ambulance.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to
> > > the
> > > back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy
> > > cigarettes at the front.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and
> > > a
> > > DIET coke.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to
> > > the
> > > counters.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the

> > > drive
> > > and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then
> > > have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to
> > > talk to in the first place.
> > >
> > > Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a

> > > skating
> > > rink.
> > >
> > > NOT TO MENTION .................
> > >
> > > 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

> > >
> > > 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts

> > >
> > > 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
> > > screwdrivers.
> > >
> > > 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the
> > > fairy lights were plugged in.
> > >
> > > 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
> > > decorations
> > > were chocolate.
> > >
> > > British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling

> > > accidents.
> > >
> > > 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
out
> > > of
> > > the soles of their feet.
> > >
> > > 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit

> > > cigarette in their mouth.
> > >
> > > A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

> > > opening
> > >
> > > bottles of beer with their teeth.
> > >
> > > 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control

> > > Scalextric cars.
> > >
> > > and finally.........
> > >
> > > In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
loo

Only eight cracked their skulls? I guess the others didn't admit it...

Well would you

"oh yeah, I um fell down the stairs"

Yes, exactly.

That mail has been doing the round for a couple of years now, about every 3 months it lands in my Inbox. I still think it is dead funny

me 2.... but I thought I would share it...

good guide entry? in a more "condensed" form of course...

I don't think it would make the edited guide though unless you changed it a lot.
Maybe it's one for the alternative writing workshop? Or perhaps you could work on it a bit.

Oh I would change it lots - thats just copied out of the email - I would make it into a proper article thing... after my exams.

So List Of Articles to do:
1) The Perils Of Wales
2) Stupid Things That British People Do

(so far!)

I think it would (in my new role as an Underguide miner)
Go for it girl BUT REVISE FIRST, Othello will not learn itself

Othello is learnt (ish)

I just need to learn French which I know mostly

Media and geog revision sessions on monday... so I should be ok

Yeah, course ya will

It's

oh... then!

Article done. Revision avoided.

So what's next on the Reversion timetable (revision aversion)

Me the messiest person going would clean the house from top to bottom and I mean everything.

Once my room-mate and I even started trying to build a homemade mousetrap to catch our other lodger who had been there all year (we were both doing engineering at the time as well)

On another occasion our entire student house had a shaving foam fight

Those were the days

good luck lou
my exams start on Friday.....
i meen of all the days to give you an English exam.....
dont forget to revise......
saying that mine is currently doing itself

Good luck to you too - GOOD LUCK TO US ALL!

Yes, good luck to us all!