h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahhhh! Duct Tape.

I have a theory that Duct Tape is a Man's tool, and hot-glue the woman's. However, I have found that a lot of women pray to the Duct Tape God. (Is this because it comes in 12 glorious colors?????). I have to admit a sneaking admiration for the women who cross over into Duct Tape territory and take the Duct Tape by the horns....

Here are a few choice sites:

We must, of course, start with that Canadian king of DT, Red Green.... Hop into the Possum Lodge, where the motto is "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati" (When all else fails, play dead): http://www.redgreen.com/

This is really cool! She makes all sorts of crazy accessories from Duct tape: http://www.vanessajean.com/home.htm

The Official Duct Tape site's Fashion Page:
http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/fashion.html

Todd, a Canadian (naturally) sculpts with Duct Tape! http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/toddscott/index.html

The libretto for an opera featuring Duct Tape... No! seriously!: http://www.improb.com/ig/ig98-duct-tape-libretto.html

(Not about Duct Tape, but thought I would throw it in: http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/the_bride_wore.html )

However, the piece de resistance has to be:

http://projecttroy.com.nexx.com/website/index.html

Troy Hurtubise's site. Where you can learn all about the all-Canadian legend and his patented "Ursus Mark VII" (Geez, there should be trumpets and smoke for that) bear suit.

Not bear-suit, as in dressed up as a bear... but bear-suit, as in "scientifically designed" hermetically sealed (well, not really), "research tool" bear suit.

Dear Troy.... he has been working for "15-plus years" to design a suit which can be used "capable of withstanding the viciousness of an enraged 300 lb black bear attack".

Just a note... the only time I have ever seen the suit in close proximity of a bear was when he lay in wait in a pile of garbage. Upon being approached by a smallish Black Bear, he leapt (well.... struggled) into a sitting position, and the bear ran off in the opposite direction.

A few notes about the suits:

Testing of "Ursus Mark VI" involved:
Truck: 18 collisions with a three-tonne truck travelling at 50 kilometres an hour (30 m.p.h)
Rifle: Shot at with 12 gauge shotgun, using "Sabot" slugs
Arrows: Armour-piercing arrows, fired from 45 kilogram (100 lb.) bow
Tree Trunk: Two collisions with a 136 kilgram (300 lb.) tree from a height of 9 metres (30 ft.)
[my favorite!] Bikers: Assault by three bikers - the largest. 2.05 metres (6 ft. 9 in.) tall, weighing 175 kilograms (385 lbs.). Biker armaments: splitting ax, planks, baseball bat.
Escarpment: Jumped off escarpment, falling over 15.25 metres (over 150 ft.)

"Mark VII": "On the exterior of the suit is again a black box voice-activated recording device, to record bear sounds or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VII, Troy's last words."

What does this have to do with Duct Tape? Why, because 2,289 metres of duct tape went into the making of the "Mark VI" suit.....

Why do I see a gigantic Grizzly Bear not bothering to peel Troy out of the suit, but dragging him (still in the suit) back to his lair to uncork him at his own leisure? MMMMMmmm Cruncky ion the outside and soft on the inside...

For an article on Troy and the Terrorists, see: http://www.improb.com/news/2001/nov/troy-terrorists.html

Troy (or, rather, the Bear Suit) appeared on the Canadian cartoon "Odd Job Jack" in the episode where Jack got a job planting trees.

Here is the "Odd Job Jack" website: http://www.thecomedynetwork.com/oddjobjack/oddjobjack.asp

Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together

Ahhh... how very true.

Have you read about poeple being duct taped to walls/roofs/etc? I saw some pictures somewhere and they were a p**ser. It was linked from the darwin awards site because some guy almost died of asphixiation because of all of the duct tape... they look great though

I had... I was going to post a few sites here, but decided that there are people who are stupid enough to try doing it to themselves or friends even though they have been told how dangerous it is....

People with a lot too much time on their hands, I am afraid. There is a page on the "Duct Tape Guys" which is linked above.

Hmmm... that sounded a bit disapproving. Let me rephrase that...

I was going to post a few sites here, but decided that there are people who are stupid enough to try doing it to themselves or friends even though they have been told how dangerous it is, get hurt or worse..... and then coming back and sue the pants off me because they didn't read the instructions properly....

Sadly, some people think they were given a brain just to keep their ears apart.

Well said

I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork, and then sue the fork manufacturer for damages... after all, he never told me that it could cause blindness. I wonder if I would win that case Sadly, I think that there is a possibility that I would.

People do not need rights. They need RESPONSIBILITIES

Did you hear about the case (true) where this guy bought a whole lot of very expensive cigars, insured them, and them after smoking, claimed the insurance on them, stating they had been lost in a "series of small fires"?

He won a suit against the insurance company, but they got their own back when they, in turn, sued him for arson for setting the "series of small fires" which destroyed the cigars.... They won, and for a LOT more than he had won in the previous case... Served the idiot right.

The only person who wins in any litigation is the lawyer...

Usually true.

I once was told a story about two beach combers walking along a beach, and both of them come across this oyster... perfect... Now, they both got to it at exactly the same time and a fight errupts

It's mine
No, I was here first

Along comes a lawyer, who offers to help resolve the problem. After listening to their cases, he takes the oyster, and gives half of the shell to one man, the other half of the shell to the other, and eats the oyster himself.

"That is my fee" says the lawyer

I am sure that you could rewrite that to make a great deal of sense, it is only a very rough outline of something I was told about a decade ago...

Still, it's very apt...

*bows* thank you

*laughing at "series of small fires" and how the tables were turned*

Thanks for the links to the wedding dresses. I just spent 45 minutes howling with laughter.

JEllen

NP!

I love to spread the laughter...