h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't spank dirt monkeys. You'll catch some disease, I'm sure.

maybe you should give me some keyes to that washroom, something needs to be done about all those derelict entries

In good time, paul

In the meantime, you may bathe in my waterfall grotto. I should warn you that the water is imported from Lake Erie and the Cuyahoga River, so you *might* catch fire while bathing

and don't use the blue towel afterwards, I've a suspicion that waz wizzed and woz weely wet when she wiped wee up wiv it.

If Waz was weading (dammit, you've got me doing it) that slander, I give her full permission to make public the tales of Frood's fetid, foul foot fungus.

Or, hmm. Would that be libel or slander?

Meh.

another reason to wear flip-flops when you're in the bath

and I think it's salamander innit??

They had a line about slander versus libel in the Spiderman movie. Which does me no good, because I don't remember the line.

Yeah, I think I'm going to start wearing wooden clogs in the Executive Washroom from now on. Not only for the germ protection - they make a satisfying noise on the tile.

"It's slander when it's spoken. In print, it's libel" to be in a supermarket tabloid.

Here's some coverage of the Fourt of July I found humorous- http://dailykos.com/story/2005/7/5/963/97677 and in an unrelated development, someone has finally figured out the answer to an age old question... http://www.hottestussenator.com/

PS - I voted for Byrd.