h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ever since Fish had the idea to get off the planet, I was worried. After all, it was the only home I'd ever known, and I don't know much. Heck, I don't even know what my name is. Fish discovered me on the shore of the river K'poli when I was a baby. He said I was floundering like a beached merpussy. I couldn't talk, didn't know what species I was nor where I'd come from. Fish couldn't help much. Said he'd never seen a critter like me before. So from that day on I was his Freak. He's always looked after me, I can't do much on my own 'cept sit on the krapper. What am I gonna do without him?

That's why I have to find him. I know he's in cyberspace somewhere, but I heard that in here it's bigger than out there. And much more dangerous. If I think I'm in a weird place, I hate to think where fish could have ended up. There are much worse places than here, or so I've heard. Fish has always helped me, so now I've gotta help him. And I need all the help I can get. So if you know where Fish might be, please tell me! If I find him, then maybe he knows a way to get us out of here.