h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...of going to the ball in a pretty dress. And so do I. I found one today that made me look, dare I say it, beautiful (although not modest). Even though I know that it's only the dress that looks good, not me. But I wanna look pretty at the Christmas Ball...

However, this magical dress cost £160.

I don't actually own a dress, because I hate them, so it might be a good investment, unless I never wear it again. But if I lose more weight, it will have been a waste. Having said that, I could alter it, I suppose (like on The Simpsons)... And I don't know why I care anyway, cos I used to be a left-wing feminist and seem to have lost my integrity at some point in the last year. And I hate formal occasions.

I'm such a girl sometimes.

go for it! Treat yourself! It will be a good investment because there's always next years christmas ball!

But I could be dead by then. Or incredibly slim, in which case I would have to get another dress.

Or you could have become a feminist that doesn't want the dress again.

I'm sure you could have it taken in

Don't tempt me...

You know you want to

I know I want to. There are many things I want to do. And yet don't. So although I want to, I'm not going to.

Sorry. One too many tonight, methinks.