h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wedgies can happen anytime, anywhere, anyplace, anylocation, anywhereabout, etc...
Will they happen to you?
The answer is yes.
I asked 2 people when the worst time to get a wedgie would be and they replied:
Frank: The absolute worst time to get a wedgie, and don't think this is gross, is when you have diaherra.... Wait, are you using this on the internet....NOOOOOOOOOO!
Helga: The worst time to get a wedgie is in a movie theater, because in a movie theater, you'd have to stand up and get loose, then obscenely extract the wedgie in question from it's crevice.
The definition for a wedgie in a fancy dicitionary is when your pants ride so far up that they become stuck in the space between your gluteous maximus'.
My definition includes the best ways and gravity levels that wedgies can be administered.
If you want to preform the best possible wedgie, you must be in a gravity 5 times that of Earth's, then, make sure the person's pants are made of the highest quality leather, and underwear have insured elastic. Next, you pull in the upward direction as fast as possible, until both the pants and underwear are ripped. Keep pulling until the entire elastic band is completely ripped off. The victim's crack should burn for weeks to come!

Surely someone must find this entry the slightest bit interesting....no? Oh, alright then, um........

* stands with his back against the wall *



Don't worry too much about publicity. I haven't heard of any new journal entries being automatically announced via the intercom

How about posting to A491690, Wedgies ? After all, that's where it belongs

hey, by the way, it's always a good idea to subscribe to conversations entered below one's entries ...