h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You know, I wish life were so much simpler. Today we bought an all in one modem/router as having a USB ADSL modem and a normal router doesn't work. Unfortunately the bloody thing won't work and despite our broadband connection being on (I'm using it with said USB modem as I type) the troubleshooter is insisting that our net connection is non-existent . So I'm waiting on a phonecall back from those middens so they can help me get it working - if it's going to work. Maybe we should have just bought the one our ISP offered us?

Who's your ISP? Have you read the manual for setting up the router?

Do you want to try "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" too?

We're using Virgin over a BT line (don't get me started on why a new housing development doesn't have cable!) but the modem doesn't even seem to get as far as initialising the DSL, never mind trying to connect. It does say that you shouldn't use a filter when connecting it to the phone line, but (a) there's no other way to connect it to the phone line and (b) the modem comes with a filter anyway.

Have you tried waiting 24 hours and the problem will be fixed? Have you tried uninstalling and reinstalling the modem?* Have you tried getting a new modem? Have you tried changing the wire between the modem and the phone line? Have you tried buying a new PC?

I did all of the above when trying to get Ornage to consider that the problem might, conceivably, have something to do with THEM!

Eventually I switched broadband supplier. Since then, everything's been fine. There's a lesson here somewhere.

RF

* You will need to do this every time you call them.

Have you tried hitting it with a big hammer?

The techie people called back about 3:15. fords was in the middle of a World Of Warcraft session so I asked if they could call back about 5. It's now 10 and the phone hasn't rung since.

D'oh! (_8(|)

Bunch of arseholes, the lot of them!

We've been through the documentation and all that and the only conclusion we can see is that there's something wrong with the physical connection, i.e. the wires going into the wall and all that. The only other thing we thought was that maybe the thing doesn't like the protocol Virgin uses, but it's a long shot

Still, the USB modem only just reaches across the floor to the couch!

Yeah, well the modem/router can go straight back to the shop because, with only a minimal amount of Googling and a lot of swearing, I've managed to, er, *adapt* the modem that BT didn't ask us to return when we gave up on them. We're wireless again!

Now where the is the USB wireless receiver so we can both be online at the same time again?

Is that that thing Jennifer was playing with earlier? The slim black thing with Belkin written on it?

I have a spare Wireless PCMCIA adapter that you can have if you want it. It'll probably only give fords a second Wireless adapter in her laptop, but hey, it's at least something, right?

Oh well, thanks anyway

Never mind. Sorted now.