h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been having a really difficult time sleeping recently and have been feeling tired and exhausted most of the time.

At work, I need to obtain more grant funding for one of my projects, or one of my staff will be made redundant and on another grant-funded project, 100% of my staff are pregnant, and one of them is having a really hard time with morning sickness. I've been going to bed worrying about it, when I've not been worrying about how I'm going to sort other home-related issues. Oh, for a really good night's sleep!

Hello ZSF
I know all about this one. I don't envy you the dilema at all. I haven't yet found a sure fire method of sound sleep when I'm stressed

It's an awful feeling isn't it? Even when you tell yourself you'll be less able to deal with it if you don't sleep well, it still doesn't persuade your brain to shut down and take a break And of course, the er you get, the less sleepy you are

Are you getting to sleep in the first place? I try to find a real ripsnorter of a book to switch off my brain and hope that I'll fall asleep over the pages. Also try the radio - the World Service. Ambient music can help. Also how about an infusion of basil leaves - supposed to make you sleepy. Valerian can help slow you down too.

Worst comes to worst, I can point you in the direction of a large bottle of malt whisky.

Hi Fb

Thanks for the - I feel I really need it at the moment. I've just come back from work and feel really stressed. It's my last day before the Christmas break and on top of work towards finding funding for one of the posts, I had a councillor question (eveyone jumps for those) and didn't manage to apply for an award for my team that I'd committed to do - on the basis that keeping someone in a job is probably far more important than recognising everyone else. Still, I feel bad about it.

One of my pregnant staff fainted at the bus stop on the way home last night. She's having awful morning sickness, not able to eat much and very thin. That's worrying too.

The malt whisky wouldn't help. If I drink any amount of alcohol (anything more than a glass or two), I tend to wake in the middle of the night anyway. I've ended up taking a fair amount of work home, including the accounts of a professional organisation which need auditing before the AGM in January. Actually, I could probably do a complete day's work tomorrow and claim it as time off in lieu. I might do that. If I do all the work in one go, it will probably feel less of a struggle.

I do have some Valerian. I hadn't heard of basil leaves. I don't have any at present, however it's probably worth a go.

Thanks, Fb - you've helped me think a bit more clearly!

Something else that's affecting me is getting hot and cold. I'm not sure if it's just stress or if it's hot flashes. I'm not sure if it's cause or effect.

I also know all about having work at home Once I went down that route and was working evenings and really early mornings, it took me a lot of willpower to break the habit. I work late in the office now, if I have to do out of hours stuff.

A day working from home is quite a different matter of course - and can be incredibly beneficial. Usually I end up doing everything I'd planned to do in half the time it would take me in the office. No distractions. No phone. No meetings. No staff to manage. Great incentives to finish (pool, garden etc)

Interesting you mention hot and cold, cos I was suffering that when I wasn't getting my life/work thing balanced - but hadn't realised until you said it that it's gone. So I suspect it's a symptom of stress. Very interesting.

Hi Fb

Working late in the office won't work for me for a while, as I have to pick up little from after-school club. I had intended to do a lot of work at all, but I had such an awful night and have a headache which has given me blurred vision, so I'm not being very productive at all.

'Interesting you mention hot and cold, cos I was suffering that when I wasn't getting my life/work thing balanced - but hadn't realised until you said it that it's gone. So I suspect it's a symptom of stress.' Do you know, that comes as a bit of a relief to hear that. Get rid of the stress, get rid of the symptoms. I suspect that what I really need to do is to take some time out to chill - but I just see the work that needs to be done.

Maybe I'm a bit like the worker who is frantically chopping because there's such a lot of work, but isn't making much progress. A person comes by and asks to look at the axe and then suggests taking time out to sharpen it. And the worker says, 'But there's too much work to do - I don't have enough time!'

I can see I have a way to go before I have the whole work/life balance stuff sorted out.

It sounds like you're in the hardest place at the moment. Not quite a crisis, but reaching it?

Once something cracks you will be forced to reprioritise things.

Don't let the thing that cracks be fundemental though.

If you can, act before it happens.

Take time out, no matter that means that work doesn't get done.

That's the hardest decision of all, I know.

Know that you have a right to sleep, work effectively and have time for little and - rather more importantly - YOURSELF

ZSF you have taken the words right out of my mouth. I sit in the office until 10 or 11 at night, trying to sort everything out (notes from phone calls, going through my e-mails, trying to deal with all of them). I have no idea how to do this work more efficiently - I think of nothing else, but I have come up with nothing.

I was having hot flushes, too - I asked my gynaecologist and he recommended two homeopathic products. The cheaper one helped immediately, despite the both the doctor and the pharmacist telling me that it could take some weeks before I noticed any effect. They are called Klimadynon in Germany. I had just run out before I went to England recently, and I got some Menopace, but they didn't help so much.

It was silly of me not to take the product info with me to compare the ingredients. The ingredients of Menopace are easily found on the internet, but - typical German: only with a password can you get into the deeper catacombs of the respective website for the Klimadynon to find out what's in it.

In Germany, valerian is also considered the best herb for sleeping, although any herbal tea seems to help me. We have loads of lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) in the garden which also makes quite a tasty tea and helps sleep.

Yes, FB, it does look as though I'll have to take some time to sharpen the axe (or the saw).

What a great place h2g2 is - it's really giving me space to explore issues in a really helpful way. Perhaps it's time to stand back and see what really needs to be done. Thinking about the things I've shared, I think it's time I took some time out to look at my priorities, how I'm currently managing and how I could best change. It's not really enough looking at what I need to do - some things I know I need to do but struggle to do them. I need to find what will really work for me.

Thanks!

Totally agree about h2g2

Good luck with the sharpening

Fb!

I had another rough night last night. I'll see if I can do better tonight.