h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been tackling some behaviour from my son just recently, and of course, the behaviours have got worse. Hopefully, only until the penny drops that they aren't productive. I'm also trying to reward productive behaviours positively, so he gets good strokes from doing well and no strokes at all from behaving poorly.

I think the main cause is attention seeking. The include whining, manipulation, name-calling, sitting down and refusing to move, or lagging well behind.

When he's done something naughty and that behaviour is tackled, he gets angry at himself and then starts saying things like 'I really hate myself' and 'I shouldn't be alive' and 'I want to get run over'. All attention-seeking stuff.

I've started to tackle these by ignoring them where possible and then by removing privileges. He really doesn't like being ignored. Today, we were going to the supermarket for food and he started to whine. I gave him a couple of opportunities to stop, saying that if he didn't I would turn the car round and we would go back home. The whining continued, so I turned the car around and came home. Sulks, whines and tears, which were ignored.

I wonder how long this will take to achieve a positive result?

It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing though!

Good luck!

Thanks, Peta! I know it's going to be hard at first, particularly if the privileges withdrawn are things I want to see or do (like going to see Harry Potter - not used this one yet). However, if I break my word, or change my mind, he's got me.

My son was exactly the same. He used to have temper tantrums - eventually I found that the best way to deal with them was to drag him by his feet out of the room, into the hall way and leave him there alone until he finished. When the noise stopped I'd invite him back in, if he restarted I'd shut the door again. Harsh, but it worked!

Mine doesn't have temper tantrums as such, although come to think of it, there are some similarities and he lay on the floor today kicking his legs. I told him that I would treat him as I treated him when he first did it, which was to say 'You're having a tantrum. Tell me when you're finished.' Today's lasted only a minute.

His style is more whingeing, whining and manipulation. I took him and a friend shopping after swimming (just come back) today and he was going on about something. I set a 'no talking' rule and told him I was going to ignore everything he said after I imposed it. When he did speak, I heard him saying quietly 'Shut up me!' to himself several times. It was quite funny, although I couldn't let him see I was amused.