h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I believed I was doing my best in being honest about my past, making myself vulnerable and getting hurt a lot for nothing.

Until someone said this to me today, it played on my mind and I need to share it.

"The result of conclusion number two is that you are now considering leaving h2g2. That is your decision, but I feel it is a real shame as no-one else has managed to bring together the debate on abuse and incest you have led so well and so sensitively. There are people in that debate that are opening up in a way I doubt they have felt able to elsewhere and it is very likely you have dozens, if not hundreds of silent readers whose pain is being expressed and possibly alleviated by the sharing they see."

Is this true?

Have I really done some good here?

Is there a way I can stay and be a place where people who have suffered abuse can speak?

Would doing that just be opening us all up to further grief from people who do not care and yet insist on trampling over our feelings?


Although in 'real life' I very rarely talk about this, purely because there is no need. I am happy to make it the basis for my existence on h2g2. Funnily enough I rarely even think about my past abuse anymore, as it does not figure in my day-to-day life anymore. But I want to stick up and help and show you can get past it to all those who are still suffering. I know some poeple here think my 'real life' must be all about talking about abuse, but it so isn't. Its only something I do here, for those silent and for all I know non-existant watchers who are too scared to speak but need to know this is something you can get through.

Any thoughts?

"I know some poeple here think my 'real life' must be all about talking about abuse, but it so isn't."
(Kaz)

That is something we CAN show and tell others.
Show it's incorporated into our lives.
It does not run it or ruin it.
I think it is the most important message to those suffering more intensely at the moment.
It is a way to give to others that is unique, *some people cannot do that.

********************************
"It's only something I do here, for those silent and for all I know non-existant watchers who are too scared to speak but need to know this is something you can get through."(Kaz)

Exactly Kaz!
Kaz you have grown in the short few years you have been here.
It started before you came and will continue.
It is visible and can be followed.
It shows hope and recovery.

Life is an unfinished piece of art for us all

The same things and people are everywhere, you have a wound ,somebody has salt. That is life.
Please don't run.
It stops the chase when you refuse to

"The same things and people are everywhere, you have a wound ,somebody has salt. That is life.
Please don't run.
It stops the chase when you refuse to"

Abbi normal, you talk excellent sense. Next time I'm downhearted, I'll visit your space for a pep talk.

Mind you, is there any harm in taking a break if h2g2 gets too much sometimes? Is that a kind of running away, or is it a way of regathering one's strength?

And though it is good to read of someone coming through it all, it seems a bit much (to me) to make visiting h2g2 into a responsibility rather than a pastime. I appreciate your concern, Kaz, for all those who find their life difficult; on the other hand, you already seem to have a lot of other responsibilities. I'm not convinced that your space is the *only* place they can turn to, inspiring though it is.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're not enjoying it here, why continue? Have a break. Have a Kit-kat. (Or non-Nestle alternative.)

I just had a thought. Kaz, what if you write a guide entry, or something on your personal space about some of the ways you've learned to cope with having been abused, and the after-effects? You know, so you don't have to lay yourself open so often, and people will still have the opportunity to contact you or start a discussion on the subject, if they need to?

I am happy for h2g2 to be a responsibility, I feel very strongly that people do not get enough support when going through these things.

However, just when I thought there could be a purpose to staying, KerrAvon has posted on the 'I'm off' journal.

If I stayed just to help those who are struggling with their journey after being abused, I would need to know that people like her, will leave my page alone. It doesn't seem that is likely now.

I would stay to help those who need it, if those who make fun of us would just stay away.

I thought of doing that Snailrind, but after the event mentioned above, I am not sure if there is any point. But if I thought I would be left alone by those who make fun, to do this, then that would definately be a good idea.

Strength is not only carrying on when it is easy, it is carrying on when it is hard.

Bravery is not only carrying on when you have no fear, it is carrying on when you are fearful.

There will always be people who say what hurts you, do what hurts you, think what hurts you.

Move through the pain, and be strong and brave.

Jez

"guess what I'm saying is, if you're not enjoying it here, why continue? Have a break. Have a Kit-kat. (Or non-Nestle alternative.)"

I second that too!
*wants kit kat now*
Thank you for the compliment snailrind - you are welcome over at my space anytime.

Kaz part of the abused senario is trying to please others, as you know. Figure out what You want and act rather than reacting to what displeases you in others. What you choose to focus on and feed yourself emotionally is most important. (opinion)

You could spend a lifetime reacting to others lives while not living your own or sharing it with others.

Jez

All I know is that I need to be available for those who went through what I did. I am doing it for me, its a deep need. I don't know whether I can continue here until I get a reply from KerrAvon though. If she leaves me and my journal alone, I can continue being here for those who are having trouble getting through it.

I really appreciate your desire and willingness to be here for people who need to hear what you have to say. That includes me, although I need to hear different things from you than what you're addressing here. What I can say, though, is that you are one of a handful of people here who I *was* able to talk to about some really nasty stuff, and in two short years have worked through things to the point where they no longer are able to run (or ruin) my life. Rather, you've taught me that my past experiences, my present experiences too, are part of what make me not a messed-up. worthless person, but a good person, worthy of genuine friendship and love. This has helped me more than you know- I've cut loose from those people who tried to use, manipulate and emotionally blackmail me all the time, and have surrounded myself with truly caring people. A lot of this is due to your openness and honesty, Kaz. If you could share that with me, I can only imagine all of the other people you can give, and have given, it to.

Plus I'd like to see you stick around for purely selfish reasons: I enjoy reading about your activities and your thoughts on things, and your feedback on my own journals, as well. You don't know how often, in talking about the simple, mundane, day-to-day things, you brighten my day with insight, joy, and .

Kaz you move me like no other here.
I have confessed to past abuse thanks to you, I'd miss your thoughts and words if you left h2g2.
We did meet briefly, do you recall?
I'm sorry I can't spend real time with you, we'd be good for each other.
I don't wish to talk about the abuse I suffered online on a public message board.
But it has helped me to read how others cope with the memories.
I don't think of the abuse at all, it doesn't figure in my daily life, but I will never lose the mental scars.

You *have* helped me, people you know about, people you don't know about, who read your words & cry silently & don't post.

Bless you Kaz

You guys are fantastic

Such words, I feel honoured.

GB feel free to email me, we can talk serious or just talk about everyday stuff. Same goes for all of you.

I appreciated your words Jez, and PC as always

And Abbi, and all of you.

Kaz... we're the ones who are honored to have YOU.

I am content, I shall go now

Many blessings,
Matholwch /|\.