h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Been musing on the subject. A couple of things are happening/have happened recently.

Thing 1: Bishop O'Brien gets sentenced today and there is a lot of fuss over whether the Bishop will get jail time.

For those who don't know, Bishop Thomas O'Brien hit a man with his car and then left the scene of the accident. He didn't stop, check to see what had made a bowling-ball sized dent in his windscreen, call the police or even report the accident.

The guy he his had a blood alcohol level twice the legal limit, so it's not like the Bishop aimed for him - he wandered out into the path of the oncoming car.

People in Arizona are worried about two things: Will the Bish get a harsher sentence because he's a high profile defendant? Will the Bish get jail because he admitted covering up the child molesting activities of certain Priests, transferring them to other parishes, knowing that they were paedophiles and not reporting it? Is this more about revenge and less about justice?

Thing 2: Yesterday, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano spared the life of a mountain lion. The mountain lion had attacked a four year old child. Many people believe that the lion should have been hunted down and killed.

Here's the story: A family had taken their two kids out to the wilderness on a camping trip. While Ma and Pa and Sprog 1 were inside the tent, the 4 year old girl was left to run around outside and 'chase bugs'. The mountain lion clearly thought she was food.

However, on hearing his daughter's screams Dad rushed out of the tent and beat the mountain lion off. The kid survived.

Should the lion have been killed?

Thing 3: Tom Hanks. "The Lady Killers'. Wasn't that an Alec Guiness pic, originally, with Peter Sellers in an early supporting role? And wasn't it marvellous? Odd, then, that no mention has been made of this classic British black&white comedy.

Poor Alec. Forever known as Obi Wan Kenobi.

That's awful! Thing three I mean -- has Tom Hanks been involved in perpetrating a remake of the unremakeable?

You know Hollywood, Oh Man That Is Recumbent, if it's not in color, set in America and NEW it's not good.

I suppose that since The Italian Job remake made some money they've come to the conclusion that British Comedy can be strip-mined for ideas.

To be fair, it does look like they've done a fair job...but I've only seen bits of the Hanks role. They may also have kept some of the plot.

Bishop O'Brien's Sentence:

6 months deferred jail sentence.
4 years supervised probation.
1000 hours community service - to be spent visiting and comforting the badly injured and dying of the area. This work will have no religious component unless requested by the patient. The Bishop has to provide a contact address and phone number, so that he can be contacted by members of the community who need his help.
Suspended driving licence for 5 years.

Basically, he's been told to go work with people in the community for two hours a day, five days a week for 2 years. And if he fails to do so, he goes inside for a sixmonth. And as a comparison, the harshest community service sentence handed out ever in this area was 365 hours.

"work with people in the community for two hours a day, five days a week for 2 years" -- resembles a mild vocation. Then you get to write a book about it.

Thing 1: There are bound to be plenty of people who would like to see The Bish in chokey and passed around like a doobie. Whether his sentence was fair or not... I can't say.

Thing 2: There are probably folks out there right now with rifles and torches shooting at anything that moves (and plenty that doesn't). If they do come across a mountain lion though, how they can know for sure it's the right one... think 'Jaws' - "I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten." Too much damn testosterone.

Thing 3: I had (and still have) no desire to see the Hollywood versions of The Italian Job or Get Carter, but I'm intrigued to see this one. Didn't Michael Caine get bit parts in both of those? Who was in The Ladykillers? Alec Guinness - dead. Peter Sellers - dead. Cecil Parker - dead. Danny Green - dead. Katie Johnson - very, very dead. Herbert Lom - still around but very, very old.

Following a few links around the IMDB (which I usually allow myself to do when I'm there) led me to the entry for Valerie Leon She's gonna be 60 next year.

Thing 1: The Bishop's sentence should probably have been Custodial, but I didn't for a moment think it would be. It is a common Parole technique to claim to have found God whilst doing porridge and since he's a Bishop he can't do that. However, as a small, frightened, insulated and deeply confused man it will probably do him more good to reconnect with the community rather than have certain parts of the community connect with him. If you know what I mean (and I'm sure that you do).

Thing 2: The mitigating factor for me is this: the lion not only failed to eat the kiddie, it got beaten up by an angry dad. Killing it now is just adding insult to injury. We'd effectively be executing the lion for incompetence and that's just not fair.

Rangers and wildlife control officers have been trying to move a bunch of mountain lions out of a park in California. They can't find them anywhere, so no luck so far.

Thing 3: Alec Guiness and Alistair Symm are two of my favourites. Such genius and versatility. I miss them. Only Geoffrey Rush comes close these days...maybe Mr. Depp too.

Alistair Sim - is that just a coincidental mention or did you know that Alec Guinness based his character in The Ladykillers on a former Alistair Sim role? I can't recall any details, but I did see a shot from the Alistair Sim film, and the "Mrs Wilberforce? I understand you have rooms to let" scene is almost identical

Yes -- Alistair Sim always complained that people congratulated him for his role in The Lady Killers, when it was Guinness taking him off.

My favourite Alistair Sim moments were in the wonderful TV series "Cold Comfort Farm" -- as the preacher, saying "There's no butter in hell" and "If it be thy will O Lord, all puffed up I will come before thy throne".

The Sim/Guiness connection... they're just two actors I have a lot of time for but rarely see anything of these days (not unusual...they're both dead, alas). I did know that it was Guiness 'doing' Sim in Ladykillers, and now I'm trying to remember if it was either of them in 'Arsenic and Old Lace'

Off to the IMDB, I think!