h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My faith. Is funny. I am a creature of thought, not belief. I have a hard time giving things over. Letting a higher power rule. I want to. I do. Because my life, even as a child, had been plauged with a search for the meaning of life. Why we are here. The truth. I know the truth. I found it. I accepted it. But I don't live it. I want to, kinda. But then I want to be in control. But to be a better man, to be a better human, a step above the rest, truly the next step in the evolution of mankind. I believe that we can no longer grow physically, but only morally, spiritually. Why are we here? What makes life worth living? The short lived pleasures that leave us empty? The things that we do over and over again because we think they provide joy. They do, kinda. For a short time. Thats why we do them habitually, because if we stop, the joy stops. But to know joy that is always there. Things that make you happy when you are just there. That make you happy to be alive. Love is one thing. And love that lasts comes from one place. There is a peace that can be known if I just let it come. And I will. I met someone once. I thought to myself, when I first met this person, that I would love to bring this person to church, to share the peace. But my friend really didnt want to go, so I never pushed it. And when she stepped out of my life I realized that I made a mistake. I belong to God. And the mistakes I make come back to haunt me. I have to put God first. I messed up but Im walking the way I should. I am still me. But the actions that I do, that I shouldnt, I dont want them anymore. I dont need them to be truly happy. I need one thing. And that one thing has to be first in me life, or there is no hope for me.

i didn't step out of your life...im still here. And i'm proud of you!

Still there....yeah....
but weve said it before
things are different
new rules set for old ones that were broken
you are in my life
but then...so is jaeret and brandy...but they live in georgia, and i see them every few months.........
i talk to them every so often though