h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I recently visited San Francisco, mainly because it is the nearest place of interest to where I live. I had just finished drinking a couple gallons of water, and realized that I needed to pee really really bad (hey, it was hot that day). Out of the corner of my eye I saw the promised land, a green cylinder approximately ten feet tall...It was the legendary French Pay Toilet System - Origionally produced to populate the streets of New York, they were accidentally shipped to the wrong city, but we weren't going to tell the French that. Anyway, I couldn't use this one because it was missing a door. So I ran as fast as I could into the St. Francis Hotel, nice bathrooms by the way (seven out of ten-very clean), but I was in no mood to enjoy the bathroms at the St. Francis, these pay toilets had slapped me in the face (metaphorically speaking), and I do not take offence lightly. I was detrmined to find at least one workng pay toilet. I went to the one by pier 39, the door wouldn't lock and the seat had been removed. The one by the financial district, no soap, no mirror, and there was somebody sleeping in it. Needless to say, every toilet I went to had something wrong with it, so I have decided to give these toilets my worst rating, a one, stay away from these at all costs, you would be better off just going on the streets, and you wouldn't have to do it next to two kids shooting up.

Afterthought: maybe the French don't like us as much as we thought they did.