h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Once upon a premonition
That was told to all and one
We were bound by superstition
As a sickness veiled the Sun
We had called for re-enforcements
And the word was they were near
But without the God's endorsement
There's no point them coming here

The hag had had an omen
With a meaning hard to find
That no force would take the legion
Unless led by woman kind
Now our bad luck had prevailed
'Cus the Brittons were not far
And they followed a female
With the name of Boudica

Beautiful lady with widening eyes
Deadly nightshade grows where your body lies
Belladonna Belladonna

The attack came like a fire
That was born within the Sun
I had fought throughout the empire
With the Gaul and bloody Hun
But this wave of pure aggression
Turned our discipline to fear
As our ranks fell in succession
The outcome had become clear

My old father had a saying
To look after number one
In the midst of all this slaying
Do I fight or do I run?
As I came to my decision
I was clubbed behind the ear
Then I dreamt I saw a vision
Of a golden charioteer

Beautiful lady with widening eyes
Deadly nightshade grows where your body lies
Belladonna Belladonna

I awoke with my head ringing
And my body felt like lead
I could hear the devils singing
As they checked that all were dead
Then I felt their hands upon me
I was raised on to my feet
As I thought that death was on me
They just smiled through broken teeth

All around were colbalt demons
They were small and painted blue
One said come you lucky bleeder
We've a job for you to do
With my arms tied near to breaking
I was dragged before the Queen
Where she told me "Stop your shaking.
Go tell Rome what you have seen."

Beautiful lady with widening eyes
Deadly nightshade grows where your body lies
Belladonna Belladonna

djs November 1996