h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've polished the glasses so you can hardly see the lipstick and the spoons have been neatly arranged to make pretty patterns on the stainless steel bar.

There's none of that fancy Starbricks or whateveryoucallit muck - just tea and instant coffee and very thick cut sandwiches.

Right, I'll just hang the little bell behind the door and wait for the first tinkle.

The kettle's on and the chip pan is on full sizzle...

Hello, one tea and a large plate of chips please
Hi
If you need any help serving out drinks ect, come and leave a message in one of my forums
Oooh, luvly

Spitfire flies in through an open window and lands neatly on the counter, narrowly avoiding some upturned tea cups. "Tally Ho! One chip butty and a gallon of tea for the old kite please". Hands over a bundle of oily old £1 notes.

*Puts greasy apron round ample form and lifts chap pan high out of the raging lard.*

Here we go! Thick cut bread with lashings of butter and chips as high as an elephant's eye.

That'll be 3/11 or 20p in that new money.

Our motto is "We're not cheap - we're inexpensive"

What's all this heavenly stuff about angels? Am I blessed?

he he he