h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It seems as though not many people cannot tell the difference between Canucks and Yanks. Let me fill you in on a few things:

1) Canucks (for the most part) are an extremely kind and generous race. We help people when they are lost, even if we don't speak the same language. We get along better with the Ozzies than they do - heck,we get along with EVERYONE better than the Yanks do! However, if you go to Montreal or anywhere strictly french in Quebec and receive hostility, do not fear! They just pretend they don't know English, but if you start talking to them in french they look really stupid.

2) Canucks do say some words differently than Yanks. Sometimes words just sound different because we talk faster, although Yanks think we talk very slowly and are a bunch of lumberjacks living in igloos. About sounds like aboot when spoken with the quick Canuck tongue.

3) We drink beer. Yanks drink watery liquid mixed with yeast. The best beer I have ever had is Big Rock's Kold - it is so delish! Molson and Kokanee are pretty good too. I have to add that Guiness is the best imported beer I've ever worn (and drunk.)

4) The only people who live in igloos live WAY up in the north. Most people live in houses and it is not ffrozen all year long. I remember a girl from Arizona asking me what it was like to live in an igloo....

5) We study world history. Sorry to break it to you Yanks, but yes there is a world other than the 50 States. And no, Bush isn't the most intelligent president. Too bad Clinton's gone - the spy plane never would have been spotted.

6) Poutine - it is not some sort of disease, but a mixture of cheese, gravy and french fries, one of the best things to come out of Quebec (higher on the scale than Cceline Dion.)

7) Hockey will never be the game of Yanks. Its been ours for too long. OK, so our men's national team needs to get better, but the Canucks still outnumber the Yanks on the player/nation scale, with the Euros right behind. The women's team may not have won the 1st ever GOld in the Olympics, but hey, we've won 7 World Cup of Hockey titles....and you????

8) Yanks think they are God's gift to mankind. Well, our gift to you is Toronto. They want to be Yanks so make them your 51st state, and we ca't stand their arrogant "We're God's gift to Canada" attitude.

9) Do you have shows like Air Farce, 22 Minutes, SCTV, Kids in the Hall? SNL pales in comparision.

10) Colourful people, colourful money. Plain people, plain money.