h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes indeed, you could be the proud owner of this http://autoworld.szm.com/en/index.htm . at only €14,031, about £8.5k $18.8k, the new Chevy Niva is a 4x4 for the new millenium.

Doing a respectable 8.6L/100km, or 27Mpg, it's relatively economical to run. It's comfortable, seating 5 and featuring an imobiliser, folding rear seats and a side opening lipless rear door it's secure, can carry large loads with ease and is easy to get cargo into and out of.

Also being designed to cope with tough European terrain you know it'll handle almost anything you throw at it.

Oh and in case the name Niva rings a bell, yes indeedy it was designed and originally built by those enterprising guys at Lada http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Downs/3673/2123.html . It is now built by GM though, hence the Chevy badge.

that is an ugly car

I's not as ugly as the old Niva, however the old Niva was a kick @$$ offroader...although it was a bit chocolate kettle on road. If the new one's as good off road as the old one was but with better, well any, road handling then it'll be a better car than the Land Rover Disco, even if it's not as nice looking.

Not that I can drive or would want an off road car, but according to Excelsior, Land Rover is all you need

don't forget the RAC/AA membership, which is a necessity if you've got a Land Rover...unless you dn't plan on going anywhere. One of the best 4x4s ever is the AMC Jeep CJ7, but it needs to be resprayed for the UK as the US paint job was awfull. Oh and they can cost £3-£6k depending on the condition and extras. A cheaper option, and a 4x4 that'll go places a Landy can only dream about, is the Suzuki SJ series.

I'm talking PROPER Land Rover's, the type the Army and Coastguard use, Excelsior used to love driving the local inshore rescue's one into the sea to launch the boat

Ah, you mean the Defender, I'm assuming the Coastguard down there didn't use one of the big @$$ 6 wheelers.

Still the Jeep CJ7 engine will take much more of a pounding than a Landrover one will and an SJ413 is a lot cheaper, slightly more reliable, a piece of urine to maintain and is a slightly more capable off roader...it's just a pitty it's about half the size of the Defender 110. Plus, the Zook, although it only came with a 1.3 Petrol engine, can easily fit a whopping great 2.5 TD engine under the bonnet, which means to can ramp up the power to weight ratio to stupid levels. It will take even bigger capacity engines, you just need to check that it'll fit the engine bay.

Nope, the Coastguard and the Inshore people use a bog standard Land Rover

Are you serious? 95bhp?? 23mpg??? It wouldn't pull the skin off a pudding and it's wa-ay too thirsty. Permanent 4wd? That's a bit old hat.

It's major claim to fame seems to be that it's the most stolen car in Russia, hardly a marketeer's dream.