h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My morning today was taken up by having to get a new telephone as the taxi-driver helped himself to mine as he gave me a ride home last night. THE BAR-STEWARD!!!

The annoying thing is that it is the one I use for work (people ring me - I NEVER ring them) so I had to go to the Wana shop and get them too cancel the old card, buy a new phone and make the new one have the same number as the filched one.

No problem (just €10 I didn't want to have to spend) but it took about an hour to get the numbers changed. That and the fact that I will now have to load all the telephone numbers back on and 'yes' I do keep other copies of telephone numbers as phone stealing is a national sport here.

As a result, I now have a spare sim card! Any ideas what use this could possibly be put to? Perhaps a new competition for The Post.

BUT - an this is the interesting bit - as I left the shop, I turned round and walked straight into the plate-glass window instead of through the door.

Now - once upon a time - many years ago, I was sitting outside the restaurant at the end of the Serpentine in Hyde Park and watched someone do exactly that - it was hilarious and still makes me giggle, even to think about it.

It is not NEARLY so funny when you do it yourself - and the thought of it makes me cringe rather than giggle.

However, when I think of the Serpentine, circa 1972, I still giggle!

I'm just replying to your email, so in order not to repeat myself, you'll have to wait until I've finished it.

I hope you're not too , though.

No just slightly embarrassed at realising that the maid in the shop is probably now telling all her friend what a complete whazzock that stupid old 'Ingrezee' is!

Be grateful that you don't wear glasses - I tend to crash mine on doorframes.

Not a plate glass window, but the wife and I once went into an old fashioned hall of mirrors at a funfair. It was full of kids bashing into full length mirrors. They all had bright red marks on their foreheads from the bumps but they were all giggling hysterically. Great fun

My personal gripe is malls and shops that *don't* have automatic doors. You don't realise how accustomed you've become to them until you nearly walk into a manual door.

Ahh - but that's the point. I WAS wearing my glasses and - I hasten to add - because I was looking to see what was the very cheapest phone there was available NOT at young Meriem's more than ample assets.

Then be grateful that you didn't break your glasses.

SWL, there are still lots of non-automatic doors here, but usually, you can at least push/draw them. Not so in my son's school. The first time I went there for a parents evening, I tried every blasted door I could find - without success. Until I noticed the small doorhandles beneath the large ones I had tried to push and draw.

I like the way this guys face "squishes"

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IyUjQdMLWLk&feature=related

And 'Idiot' walks into glass door - you certainly feel one.

This one's for you:

http://piv.pivpiv.dk/

You are an ACE. You have resolved my 'Christmas Card' problem totally.

Glad to be of service.