h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An article on articles (not to be confused with various other articles.)

While it is fairly easy to define the definite and indefinite articles as basically, "the definite and indefinite articles," I have never seen a grammar which discussed the effect or affect of vocal tension on the meanings of these two simple sylables.

The process of communication strictly through the use of the written word has, over the last twenty years plus a bit, come to be recognized as significantly deficient as a mode of casual conversation. After the earliest pointless and unjustified flame wars, the first real method of coping with these issues was invented. The (smiley) and all her/his/its (Don't laugh, I'm sure the Spanish, Italian, German, French and other telecommunicators were devestated till they settled on the gender of smileys.) siblings allowed us to begin to express indications of emotion that would have been indicated in spoken conversation by tone of voice, stress, and body language.

Those of us sensitive to these lost vocal/physical gestures have tried to introduce other gestures into an area limited by a realtively small possibilities of keyboard accents. This is most clearly indicated by the antagonism to the person who logs on with his/her/its caps lock key engaged. "Please, stop shouting," has become much less of the joke it started out as.

Just by analyzing that one comment about shouting, we can discover things about conversation on line as well verbal communication. Typing exclusively in caps suggests an elevation of tone. It's visual presence suggests volume at the expense of clarity. That this should be a good description of shouting is educational in and of itself.

I am reminded here of a comment from a director from the National Theatre of the Deaf. He told me that for someone who's 'spoken' language is American Sign Language, seeing some one sign while wearing lots of lace at the wrist (as in an historical drama) was similar to reading something set in an Old English font.

Again this is interesting on two levels. Firstly, because we tend to speak of 'reading' sign language and the anecdote refers to a printed effect and we are at first unable to think of an equivalent spoken effect which a deaf person would not be aware of. Secondly, because the way a person dresses does not necessarily change the way that person's conversation sounds.

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