h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Level Who are sent there? Score
Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Low
Level 2 Lustful High
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Very Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy High
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics High
Level 7 Violent Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Moderate