h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got to fly over and visit my parents next weekend. I got a cheap Ryanair flight a good while ago for this and while I was online I thought I'd book the train connection as it was so convenient last time.

When I was going in to London in January for the meet, I had booked a train into Liverpool street in advance and could pick this up in seconds at the fast ticket machine in the airport station. Hardly had to stop.

But, my parents live in the other direction - I need to get the train from Stansted Northwards to Cambridge, not Southwards to London. I should have stopped the transaction once I had discovered that these tickets can't be issued from the machine.* They gave you the option of sending them off first class post, and, as there was plenty of time, I thought that should work out OK.

I typed in my address, using a pull-down menu which allowed you to enter the name of the country you live in. But when I went on to have the address processed, it wouldn't accept it. I tried again a few times.

Then I discovered a clause in the FAQ "What if I live abroad?".

What was the answer? - "Well, we don't send tickets abroad." ( WTF was that pull-down menu for? ) "If you live abroad, you have to give us an address in the UK and we will send them there and you have to ask the people to send them on to you."

So I did thisgiving my parents' address. My mother said she'd slip them straight in an envelope and post them on the minute they arrive.

All week (since my father's been ill I've been phoning home every night) they've been telling me the tickets "still haven't arrived."

So this morning I dialled the 0800 number given to find out if they've been dispatched yet, and if not, to cancel the whole thing, because I'll never get them before I leave now.

What did the chappie at the 0800 number do? Gave me another 0800 number. There they gave me another one. And so on. Until I was getting the same number again. I have a list in front of me with four of these numbers, some of which I have tried more than once. I have spent a fortune on calls abroad and wasted half the morning.

I finally got through to someone who gave me a little hope. Apparently my tickets were dispatched on 2 March at 10.23. Or on 1 March at 17.27. I don't think even he was sure he knew what he was talking about. My parents live in the sticks - I don't know if there's a way they can post things on before Monday if they arrive with the Saturday post (their post comes at about 12.30). And even then they would have to arrive here by Thursday as I leave here at 6 am on Friday.

I'm going to buy my ticket to the airport at this end in the STATION and talk to a REAL PERSON. And walk away with the TICKET in my HAND. Just to be sure. YES I AM.

DEFINITELY.

Although, while I'm online, perhaps I'll just see if I can't book them now... after all, our local station isn't manned on a Saturday morning either, and I don't know when I will be able to get out during the week to book.....





*I had choices like Lancaster or Edinburgh for stations where I *COULD* have picked them up.

So sorry it didn't work out -but it made me , can't help it. I wonder just why there's no option to just print the tickets, like there is for flights and DB. That would make things a lot easier.

Oh TC I'm sorry for your trouble. But I guess you are as the trouble is with the trains, not the airlines.

It all goes to show that designing an online sales service is not child's play. The airlines have been through severe learning curves. The railways on the other hand are like abandoned waifs, hopeless, unheeded . . . at least in Ireland, England, France, the USA and a few other places.

Oh, that'must be so frustrating, TC! I've never tried online rail booking, but with airfare, hotel, car hire, and opera/concert tickets, so far I haven't had a problem.

The one thing that bugs me about buying online is the number of sites that have Ireland as an option in their pull-down menus, but can't cope with the fact that we don't have postcodes (yet). So, depending on my mood, my postcode is XX or .. or WW.

Azara

I still haven't recovered enough from booking my Hitchhiker's Exhibition tickets online fiasco last summer, plus I had to phone Dublin and spend more than I wanted to on stamps, to trust using online services again.

Call centres...

It's not that we don't have postcodes *yet* in Ireland. I gather we bypassed the need for them, by going directly to full handwriting-reading machines.

But it looks like we may have to fall back in line with the rest of the world rather than waiting for them to catch up.

My, what a palaver. Oh dear! I hope it all works out in the end.

Thanks for your concern everyone.

I still recommend booking a train into London from Stansted when booking your flight - via the Ryanair site.

But I can't see why they've got a damn great machine the size of two telephone boxes in Stansted station that only issues tickets going to Liverpool Street and no other destination.

Well, I do really. It's to do with the decentralisation of the railways - One Railway (this is the name of the company, not just "any old railway"!) only operates between Liverpool Street and Norwich (I think.) And the fastticket machine belongs to them, or it doesn't belong to them or something, so it only issues tickets for certain stretches.

Oh for the days before Dr Beeching struck. There used to be 5 stops between Newmarket and Cambridge, back in the 60s. Now there's only one.

... Actually, I suppose it's quicker if the train doesn't stop everywhere. And the one station that is still active happens to be the one I use anyway. But the names of those stations were so lovely. They include Brinkley, Wood Ditton, and the unforgettable Six Mile Bottom.

'Six Mile Bottom' (I used to live in Pratts Bottom

Oh, TC,

Things used to be so simple didn't they? - pre. Beeching!! How I hate that man.

Some things on the Internet are wonderful but others are a real pain. I don't travel now, and frankly your experience would give me a hissy fit.

I hope your journey works out in the end. Do let us know.

Websailor

It starts at 6 am on Friday. I was told I couldn't get the ticket to the airport in advance as it's too local. So now I need to cross my fingers that the ticket machine in our little station is working on Friday morning. And I must make sure I have enough to operate it.

oh man those stupid ticket machines drive me bonkers. For local journeys they are ok, but for the long distance stuff, you have to know everything in advance. And if you are taking too long, the people behind you miss their trains.

I tend to reserve over the phone, get the booking number and then just use the machines to print out the ticket.

Or I send to the station the day before.

... waiting to hear what happened ...

.. well, Sho, that was what I was hoping I could do, which was why I booked on line in the first place.

However, the ticket machine at our local station worked and I got to the airport fine on Friday morning. A bit cold waiting for the bus in Baden-Baden, but it had been a beautiful sunrise on the way there, and there was absolute quiet, apart from the early birds, while I was waiting at our little country station.

The flight was OK but it was pouring at Stansted - and absolutely bucketing down at my parents' village. And they never have rain!!!

I did nothing all weekend, except read, wash up, and do a few odd jobs for them, and try not to listen to my father's impossibly prejudiced and bigoted comments.

It poured all weekend!

I'm ashamed to say that I missed my connection at Cambridge for the airport on the way back, because I had got so engrossed in my book during the 3/4 hour wait there! But there are plenty of other connections and I had plenty of time, too, so I got to the airport well on time.

It is still cold in Germany and there is still snow. When will it stop?

Oh - and my tickets arrived in the post on Monday, my mother sent them on straight away and I had them on Thursday - just in time!

It doesn't excatly sound as if you enjoyed yourself

Oh, I wouldn't say I didn't enjoy it, B'Elana - I escaped in my books and managed to forget work for four days. It was nice being with my mother and seeing their friends and neighbours while I was there.

It's good that you enjoyed some of it then. What is it about fathers being so difficult to get along with ? I don't go very often to se my parents, it's usually rather difficult with my dad

I love visiting my parents - I get spoiled rotten, but I do have a lot of stress hoping that the Gruesomes aren't annoying my dad (he doesn't actually like kids around too much) and that my parents don't think I'm a rubbish mother.

But a weekend just reading and pottering - oh I dream of that!

> . . . my father's impossibly prejudiced and bigoted comments.

I have an aunt of 95 still living on her own, whom I visit every other week (my brother and I take turns). She has a few pet gripes, people not getting married before they have children and the like . . . but I have to say, she's been mellowing a little over the last few years. Give him time.

This is what we have to look forward to, after all. Old people are naughty in much the same way as children: they are licenced by their age, and they exploit it to the full. I know I will, if I make it . . .

When we reach a respectable age
Should we burn? Not go gentle, but rage?
Or should we instead
Take this chapter as read
And turn over the welcoming page?