h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well the good news is that my father appears pretty fit and well and that prompt treatment has actually got his parkinsons under control pretty well. His ticker appears to be of little concern to the medicos which is a good thing. The bad news is that mother appears much less well than she would have one believe. She is finding walking very difficult and is obviously in a lot of pain which she spends most of the time hiding because she doesn't want to worry him.

The middling news is that Pater seems set to be in hospital for a little while. Next wednesday the occupational therapist will visit the house to make an assessment of the place and whether or not my father can return there. I have an unhappy feeling that they may not like what they find - it's an old house and is not equipped with all mod cons, and neither can it be. It may be that the my parents will have to think of moving before he s allowed home on a full time basis. (This is not necessarily a bad thing. They are very isolated at the moment and i, for one, would be much happier if they were in a more central location with better amenities.)

In any event, he has more time in hospital. It seems almost certain that he will be transferred to another hopsital for in patient care and some therapy work for his Parkinsons. Again, not necessarily a bad thing.

It is disturbing though that myself and my brother and sister appear to be entering that stage of life where we become effective parents to outr increasingly aged and doddering parents, who have many difficult decisions ahead of them, I think, and it seems increasingly likely that they will be relying on us for help and guidance. I just hope that the three of us are as good at it as they were for us.

As Philip Larkin once wrote;

'What do they think has happened, the old fools/.../Why aren't they screaming?/.../We shall find out.'

to you and family. They say that old age is not for the fainthearted. Personally I think the middle years are some of the most daunting. Children above and children below. Three decades of responsibility beckonning. Life's just desserts for a miss spent youth? or a blue print for how to grow old disgracefully?...double
Take care
boots

I've never met your brother and sister but I feel sure that you are more than capable, kind, patient and caring enough for what lies ahead. You'll be fine, honey.



az

Glad to hear that your dad is It might be that moving could be the best thing for them - your mum might feel more able to 'give in' to her own problems if she knows that she hasn't got to be strong for your dad because of the situation.

It's a lovely house, with a beautiful garden, and it could just be that the occupational therapist will just want to fit bars and ramps and other handy things like that to the house. They do like to keep people in their own homes as far as I know. Moving can be very stressful, and I'm not sure that they'd want to try to inflict that on a couple who don't really want to move, and clearly aren't in perfect health.

Totally contradicting myself there - but really jsut trying to look from boths sides.

I think really both of them would welcome the chance offered by someone else saying that they ought to move. It absolves thenm of responsibility fort the decision.

I was very sad yesterday when my dad told me that 'I bought the wrong house 50 years ago'. That isn't true. For many years it was a great house, and I know there are three kids who had good childhoods there, at least, and that both my parents have been very happy there for the majority of the time.

It might not be the right house now, though. It is dificult for him to get about in because there are steps and stairs everywhere, and he finds them very difficult these days.

I agree with Mina (before she contradicted herself - ) that a move to a more accessible and smaller and more 'workable' home might be the best option.

Yes, it's a shame to give up such a lovely home. And you are right, Blues, it was not the wrong home to buy as it was perfect for the time it was bought.

I also agree with Mina that moving can be very stressful. But in this situation, with you and your siblings to help out, your mother and father could end up in a much smaller and easier-to-live-in situation. Once the initial stress of moving is over I am sure they will feel more comfortable. The idea being to reduce the stress of day-to-day living stuff, like having to climb stairs, take care of the garden,etc, which they are no longer capable of doing.

<>

Well then, be that person for them. You and your brother and sister. Help them to make the change as easily and as comfortably as possible. I am sure you are right, that they will both appreciate it. But they don't feel able to make that choice or deal with the practicalities themselves.

az

We are all concious of the need for them to be eased throught the transition and my guess is that if we divide the workload sensibly between the three of us for the job we can do it with the minumuym of impact on all parties concerned.

Best of luck old boy.

I think we shall struggle through somehow. I request that people be patient with a <shark. in the middle of a parent crisis, a job crisis and a life-in-general crisis.

Your dad didn't buy the wrong house. I bet it's quadrupled in value.

Well yes, indeed. More than that i would guess...I think they bought it for aboput £10, 000 poinds, and it sits in 3/4 acre of land as well...

If a move is necessary, I don't think that there will be any problem with money, thank the lord.

And indeed the lady luck

I'm sure we'll all manage to bear in mind a shark's situation. Allowances will be made. As will really poor taste jokes Don't think that'll stop standard force piss taking, mind. From this quarter at any rate. Check tha email, btw.

Disregard email comment, cock-up on the checking front at this end.

Hmm, ok. Which bit am i meant to disregard?

s and es for all you lovely people for your support. It means a lot.

. That's a smiley we really *need*