h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me.
She showed me her room, isn't it good, norwegian wood?
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere.
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.
I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine.
We talked until two, and then she said, "It's time for bed".

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath.
And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown.
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, norwegian wood.

*applause*

That was excellent, Yossarian! Epic!

Aw, shucks. You're giving me a swell head...