h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today I was informed that I am no longer the president of the "Can't Get A Date in Hell" Association. This, of course, is a year after I willingly kicked myself out of the club, but today, upon trying to reenter, I discovered the new president has issued a "3 week" rule. That means three weeks without succombing to temptation of any sort, before I can be reissued my card. I'm a little ticked about that since I designed the cards myself in the first place, and could easily print one off my computer, but was firmly told that that would be in ethical violation of the "code". I had no idea what he was talking about and I said so, and he said it was a new policy carried by the club, which I then countered was a ridiculous policy since he and I are the only existing members anyway. Needless to say, the conversation ended in a hostile takeover, involving hot coffee and his lap.
So, as the new president of the CGDHA I formally invite anyone to become a card carrying member, as long as they have the intentions of remaining in the club for at least six months.