h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today has mainly been about establishing my cover. I have been set up with a family. I don’t know these people but the authorities must believe we are a close unit.
Today was the first birthday of my ‘nephew’. I met my family in a cold stone house in a northern mill town. Dark wood furniture loomed from the side of the room and bits of dead animals competed for attention where they lurked in the shadows. The elephants feet carefully hollowed out to make coffee tables win pride of place with small children gathering to admire the hair growing around the toe nails. My grandmother sits in the corner taking a stern eye over proceedings dismissing any undue frivolity.
There was a buffet consisting of pre-curled sandwiches with slices of cheese or preformed meat, crisps and pineapple on a stick. A secondary buffet of dahl, rice and salad vied for position as the official party food.
My family seem very strange. The woman, playing my mother, talks incessantly repeating the same stories to anybody who will listen. She ignores other people’s contributions to the conversation and looks hurt if ever she is not the centre of attention.
There are two brothers present who appear to be playing good cop/bad cop. One brother is sweet and kind whilst the other is loud and obnoxious. He gets drunk and tries to make me dance in the kitchen at 3 in the afternoon.
As we are a newly formed family these people seem to know very little about me. They don’t know my likes or dislikes or understand my values. I feel this role is going to be challenging.

[Amy P]

This is hysterically funny.

Hi Storm

am in love with your journals, and do not want to miss one, so have added you to my friends list. Please don't stop writing, I need to read more!

Indeed - I giggle every time. I want to share on Facebook and Twitter but I worry that might blow your cover and endanger your life.

Than you.

*thank