h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No one appreciates a supervillain. Day in and day out, I'm making plans for global, galactic, and even universal domination. And what does that gain me? Absolutely nothing, that's what. People don't realize how dull there life would be without me making headlines like "STUMPED Agents Foiled Again!", and "Gigantic Satellite Of Doom Crashing Towards Murmansk Airport", and "Hollywood Invaded By Killer Rabbits!".

Of course, I've been used to that for a long time. But people don't want to stop with just beating me when I'm doing something wrong, oh no. No, they want to foil my plans when they're as simple as increasing my mental well-being. I'm currently trying to resurrect some pets of mine that were killed by Amy the Ant and Styx the Rat. Now, I understand why those two intervened, they thought that I was going to use my pet rat-ants in an invasion. That's okay, I can see there reasoning, what with my choice of life style, and my preference when choosing pets. But now that I've found a way to get my pets back, people are still trying to stop me!

I went to a psyichiatrist about this (well, okay, kidnapped a robotic psychiatrist from CLI), and he said that I needed to take a day off soon. That sounds reasonable. Hey, I might as well take an entire week off! Just watch, as soon as I finish resurecting my pets, and I finish off my plans for detonating the Galaxy (the heroes'll vanquish me there in a month, tops), I'm gonna hit the Aroma Cafe, or maybe the F&F. I'm not entirely unwanted at Joanna's Donut Stall ever since I apologized for my terrible behavior before, so I think that I could stop there.

---Minos Krylma