h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gooday everyone,

Okay, I'm still a beginner at this, but it is time for me to initiate a topic for discussion rather than just responding to others.

Earls Colne is a lovely village in North-East Essex. There is in fact a cluster of 'Colne' villages - Earls Colne, White Colne, Wakes Colne and Colne Engaine, all within a few miles of each other along the Colne Valley. Have any of you h2g2 travellers been to Earls Colne? If so, what impressions did the place leave you with? Is there anyone out there who lived/lives there? I was born and raised there, but haven't been back for many a long year. Why do I want to chat about it? Not certain, but it's a good a place as any to start.

Walter (of Colne).

Why are you (re)searching about it? Hey, you want to find your roots & where you come from, of course!! I totally understand. One of my dad's ancesters designed & built windpumps in Norfolk. I've found one, but can find no info on the man himself. Somewhat frustrating!! Everyone wants a bit of "fame" in their background somewhere, if they don't have it in their present life.

Oooooooh, this sounds heavy - sorry!!

Sorry, me again. I live near a place called Earls Barton. I wonder why some places begin with "Earls". Maybe something to do with the Normans giving land away? There's a topic for you!!! If in our travels we go to your place (we've a "modern" campervan) I'll let you know what we think. See you at Pandora's!!

Gooday Shirps,

Don't be sorry, it was wonderful that at last someone has chosen to chat with me about this topic - I was beginning to give up hope. The 'Earls' in Earls Colne comes from the Earls of Oxford, who used to be lords of the manor. The Colne bit comes from the River Colne which flows through the village. I guess that Earls Barton probably gets its name much the same way, from whoever was the big cheese at the time.

I was born and raised in Earls Colne. My interest is in the Earls of Oxford, who I am researching for my history studies. And hey Shirps, if you ever get to visit our place, you can be assured of a very warm welcome. But in the meantime, hope to talk with you some more on the h2g2 pages. Take care,

Walter.

Hi Walter. I'm an Essex boy too - Romford. I know that officially Romford is part of London, but it felt more like Essex when I was growing up there - partly because the rest of my father's side of the family were in places like Chelmsford and Braintree, and partly because Romford doesn't have a London phone code and because of the the swath of farmland between Chadwell Heath and Romford that kind of cuts it off from London. London always felt like that place that you go to sometimes.

I'm not too familiar with the far north east of Essex, only to drive through it on the A12 when visiting friends in Lowestoft. One time though, I stopped off to visit the National Trust centre at Flatford Mill. That was beautiful. When I was a kid we had a 'Constable' biscuit tin, and I got a real buzz out of seeing those places, which don't seem to have changed too much since Constable was there. Now though, I live in Texas, so I guess I won't be visiting that part of the world again for a while. Tell me, what took you to Tasmania? And if you say "a plane", I'll send the boys round to break your fingers - we know where you live

Gooday Goshoogoshoogosh,

No, I promise not to say 'a plane'. It was a ship.

My sister lives near Braintree. I am in Hobart. You are in Texas. That's about as far distant three Essexers can get from one another, I'd say. Romford: always brings to mind the stations between Colchester and London when as children we travelled by train to the Big Smoke. Romford, Ilford, Shenfield, Seven Kings, Stratford (almost certainly not in that order but you know what time can do to memory); we knew that excitement was close at hand when these names whizzed past the window. Sometimes it was the wrong kind of excitement. I once jumped off the still-moving train at Liverpool Street station and broke my arm, and spent most of the day hanging around St Bartholomew's hospital. It had taken ages to persuade my father to let me and my friend go to London for the day, so the worst part wasn't the arm but waiting for my parents to travel all the way to London to collect me (they were alright as I remember). And you want to know how come I got to Hobart? Believe me, it is better that you don't ask.

A biscuit tin with Flatford Mill, what a treasure. Do you still have it, or has it gone the way of all the biscuit tins of our youth?

It was really nice that you dropped by. This response is probably all over the place and not entirely rational, but then so am I and anyway, it's been a hard week. Talk with you again, I hope.

Walter

Of all the people I used to hang out with at school, not one of them stayed in Romford to the best of my knowledge. One of them even moved to Auckland, and you can't get further from Romford without actually leaving the planet . I guess it wasn't such a bad place to grow up really, it just seemed that way at the time. My memory is as clear as a bell on the stations, at least as far as Romford - Maryland, Stratford, Forest Gate, Manor Park, Ilford, Goodmayes, Chadwell Heath, Romford. Man, I loved the smell of that railway, and I used to ride back and forth from Romford to Liverpool Street just for the hell of it. If we ever get our scanner working again I'll send you a photo I took of L. St station one drunken night one the way home from a night out in the city. That's a fine story about the broken arm - my parents would have whacked my head so hard it would have still been spinning three weeks later!

The tin may still be in existence for all I know - my mother never throws anything away - but I haven't had any contact with my family for ages. It would have been nice to have it as a memento.

It was grand chatting with you too Walter, let's do it again soon.

Jim

Gooday Jim,

Thanks for your reply, I really enjoyed that. Yes, let's chat again, soon. Since I am looking forward to it so much, the next round ought to start with me. Take care, cobber,

Clive

Okey dokey

Hi,long time - no write - sorry!

A friend lives at London Colney, Hertfordshire (along the River Colne) - they are on flood alert - the lake behind her is lapping at the end of her garden!

Good Olde England is somewhat wet at present! I should imagine that this is not the first time of such floods, but now we have built so much on the natural flood plains, so the water can only go up & over! Maybe we ought to talk to the Dutch about their water system!

My brother, his wife & son, live at Chadwell Heath in Essex (near Romford). They moved there when they got married 30 odd years ago, because they could get a Greater London Council mortgage, which was the cheapest going, & have never moved out! I moved from home (Mill Hill, NW London), when I married, to Radlett in Herts. Now, I live in Northamptonshire - supposed home of the coblers (but all the shoes now seem to be imported!!) Northamptonshire was the place Oliver Cromwell had to make his soldiers boots, but never paid for them!!

Just finished reading "Timeline" by Michael Crichton - a mix of physics & medieval history - great!! Have now begun "Sarum" by Rutherford - an epic, but a good read so far!!

All for now - hands hurt.

Best to you both
Keep in touch.

Gooday Shirps,

Long time no hear. Have you been up to anything interesting, or illegal, of fattening? Sorry about the delay in replying, but I have only just returned after an absence of a couple of days and it has taken a while to catch up.

Have been reading/hearing about the wet and stormy weather in Britain. I heard on radio this morning that York was having its wettest period for four hundred years, and that the water table was so saturated springs were springing up everywhere, including through house walls. Someone else was blaming the weather on the global warming. I remember my dad used to explain bad weather by saying it must be the bomb! I knew an old bloke in Sydney who figured the weather had never been the same since electric trains started running. Who knows, perhaps they might have been on to something.

My reading hasn't been as relaxing as yours sounds 'cause of end of year study, but that is almost finished and I can look forward to about three months of reading for 'pleasure' - although I will probably still read mostly history books.

Must go, I have to collect my beloved from the airport. She has been away for two days in Canberra, and today is her birthday, so it hasn't been the best way for her to spend the day. Take care,

Walter.

Many happy returns of the day to Walter's beloved
It's been pretty wet here in Texas too since... I guess the middle of October. This time last week it was just reaching its peak - there was some flooding along the Blanco River and Llano River about 100 miles west, and the river which runs through Austin (it's the Colorado River, but it's called Town Lake) went from 20 feet below normal to 6 feet above in a few days. It's gotten pretty damn cold too - I think it's forecast to get down to 38F tonight. Right now though, it's a beautiful sunny day with not a cloud in the sky, and it's in the low 60's, heading towards about 70 I reckon. Perfect for a day off
My reading btw, which I really must start today is a book called 'Thriving On Chaos' which is about as long as War and Peace, and which I have to read for my work - I think it's all about how to run a successful business.

Happy Birthday to the lady - I hope she is 21 again today!! (sorry, that's probably yesterday - in which case: a belated happy birthday). I've spent many a birthday doing things I wish I hadn't been, but then again, one can always have a "late" birthday & do the celebrating later in the week!! Maybe that's why the Queen has 2 birthdays: one for officialdom & the other for letting her hair down!

Just heard on the TV that Rolf Harris' house, next to the Thames, has been flooded which included his music room. His wife was more worried about the fish that may have been lost from their pond - what a lady!!

Oooh, how I wish we could go back in time, so that books that are written now could be totally accurate & believable!! I've always enjoyed historical fiction, but now, as we find out more, it becomes a little disconcerting & frustrating!!!

My "other half" & I have spent about 5 weeks at the coast in Norfolk, supposedly doing decorating & gardening, but the weather was so bad that I slept, read, caught up with taped videos & have returned refreshed ready to do battle with: the catalogue I have to prepare for our art society's exhibition in a week's time & tomorrow night's art meeting!!! I wish I had time to paint, I only began learning when I stopped work, but then have done none since becoming sec. to the society!! Ah well, I suppose I am helping the "local community", but won't go down in history

Are the floods out in Texas always this bad? Or is it a strange occurrence?

I remember my gran blaming most unusual things on "the Russians"!!!!

Hand hurt, so Night Night all
Shirps

I believe Shirps that it's fairly infrequent. We just had a three (maybe more) year dry spell - everybody was saying how this might be the portent of a drought similar to the disastrous one that happened during the 50's in Texas, and now everyone seems to be saying that this is the way it goes here - a long drought followed by floods that make up the deficit in a matter of weeks. Talk about a land of extremes! They have the same saying here that we have back in Britain - if you don't like the weather, just stick around and it'll change soon. The only differnce is that here, it changes from day to day whereas in Britain you only have to wait for 15 minutes! They actually had snow last night up around Dallas/Fort Worth, and up in the Texas panhandle around Lubbock.

Norfolk. Now there's a very pleasant part of the country. I've only been up that way three or four times, and always marvelled at the scenery. It's always amazed me that if you go south from London, you never really leave it - its influence extends all the way to the south coast. But if you go north east, London begins to fade away after Colchester, and disappears from the horizon completely once you get past Ipswich. I have some friends in Lowestoft, and you may as well be in Carlisle for all that London matters to the locals. I like that.

I hope Rolf saved his wobble boards and didgeridoos Can you guess what it is yet?

Hello Shirps and Goshoogoshoogosh etc,

How nice to hear from you both. Let me say the weather here is wonderful, early summer, and I maybe got a teensy bit sunburned mowing the lawns the other day, but console myself with the thought that the red will soon turn to a bronze-ish or even a mahogany tan. Or it will peel off leaving me baby pink colour. Thank you for the birthday wishes to my beloved, which have been passed on to her and for which she says how sweet of you - and when my darling says how sweet she is not chucking out platitudes for the sake of good form.

Now that uni is finished for the year, the book that I have bought, but not read but will start to do so in a few days when my brain has cooled down sufficiently, is Eric Hobsbawm's 'Uncommon People'. Hobsbawm is a Marxist historian who writes history like you cannot put it down. Can I just tell you the start of the blurb in the preface? It reads "This book is almost entirely about the sort of people whose names are usually unknown to anyone except their family .... Occasionally they are also know to the police and to journalists in search of a 'human' story. They constitute most of the human race. The arguments among historians about how important individuals and their decisions are in history, do not concern them. Writing suh individuals out of the story would leave no significant trace on the macro-historical narrative." How could I resist it?

Colchester: I went to school in Colchester, it seems a lifetime ago and yet in other ways it seems as if it happened this morning (which it didn't because my boss was all over my face this morning and the bruises still show). And Ipswich. A very good friend of ours, who is travelling to England next week, has her mother and father staying with her at the moment, and they are from Mistley. Oh, sorry, the connection; her father supports Ipswich Town.

Yes, I need help. The weekend will bring me back to something approaching normal. Promise. Take care,

Walter

I've been meaning to read something by Eric Hobsbawm for some time, but like most things, just never got around to it just yet. I've heard some very good reports of his writings. It's not as easy to find 'serious' reading here as it is in Britain - most of the bookstores are either great big warehouses selling discount books (discounted because no-one wants them usually), or Barnes and Noble type places which only sell best sellers, huge and over-priced coffee table books, and self help books (sometimes it seems like half the shop is given over to self help books). Luckily though, Austin is a university town, so there are some places to go to get something with a little more depth than Pamela Anderson's biography, the latest Louis Lamore, or How to Become a Better Human Being in Ten Easy to do, Fat Free, Exercise Free, Study Free, Cheap, Cut-the-Corners, Lazy, Effortless, Have Someone Else do all the Work For You Steps. Was that a bit cynical maybe?

Oh Gosh

Come back to civilization, the green pastures, rolling hills & bookshops - lots of them with ....... all sorts of books to tantalise without looking into your own psyche, at your figure or anyone else's lives!!

To be honest, how do these people get away with it? Of those of us that are able to read, who wants to know about Posh Spice & Beckham's very short, unremarkable lives? (Sorry, didn't mean to sound snobbish at all, but you know what I mean) I know I should have written a book years ago, I'd have been a millionairess by now. No, no, it's too late to do it now - I reckon most of the rubbish has already been written

Seriously though, this chap, Eric Hobsbawm, is he a very heavy read (I'm afraid I didn't have the chance - maybe not the brains either! - to go to uni., but I'm not stupid). What sort of subjects, stories or theories? I'll need something after this epic at present, although I'll probably read Bernard Cornwells' Arthurian trilogy first. So, basically, would you recommend I try him or stay on the lighter side of life?

By the by, I don't want to know about the lovely sunny weather that someone seems to be having at present. We have had no summer this year - I think a need a sunbed (but that shouts of glossy, girlie beauty mags - Uggh!) My daughter, Liz, wants me to go on hol. with her next spring - somewhere hot - she'll need a rest as she's just begun a Phd & knows by then she'll be at breaking point. So, I'm trying to give up smoking so I can afford the hol & get some SUN!!!

All for now, done too much today & hands, arms, shoulders, neck etc., are killing me!!

Night Night y'all
Shirps

Hi Shirps and Gosh,

Hey Shirps, YOU MOST DEFINITELY DO HAVE THE BRAINS TO GO TO UNIVERSITY and if you ever say anything to the contrary ever again, I will probably unsubscribe from this forum. Or at least be annoyed with you. I enrolled at uni as what is euphemistically described here as a 'mature age' student. It is a nasty label, but it fits so I guess why not wear it and get on with things, particularly as acceptance as a Mature Age student means one does not have to do all those horrible pre-entry exams or have reached a certain academic standard as a prerequisite for admission. I thought I was not up to it, scared stiff in fact, petrified of failure. Then I took stock of all the people I know who do have degrees and I figured if they could do it then there must be hope for me. And you know what? If I had done uni at the conventional age, it is very likely that it would have turned out a dismal failure for both me and the uni, whereas at this 'mature' time of life I am there because I WANT to be, I WANT to learn, want to challenge myself. Any lecturer will tell you it makes a huge difference.

So, Shirps, it is not too late for that book, or uni, or anything else that you might wish for that is within your own hands. Like giving up smoking. Look, I'm no zealot, or an authority on the subject, but if fags cost say three quid a packet (??) a day, that is ONE THOUSAND POUNDS IN A YEAR!! With that sort of money you could come to Australia for a sunny holiday, or go see Gosh in Texas, or me here in Tasmania, where today it is 23 degrees and sunny - just walked down into the city and had to loosen the tie and undo the top button of my shirt. Whoops, sorry, promised not to mention the weather.

I promise both of you that anything you may care to pick up by Eric Hobsbawm is what I call an 'easy read'. He has the gift. Not long ago I read a book that professed to be the 'real' lowdown on Arthur, and a right boring crusty thing it was, possibly because there is very little if any 'hard' evidence of his existence. Personally I'd rather read Harry Potter. I'm probably not the right person to ask about recommended reads though, because I am obsessed with history books, especially those dealing with the Middle Ages. I adore Shakespeare's tragedies and histories, love Dickens, think Alice in Wonderland is the best work of fantasy ever written for adults, ditto Wind in the Willows. This should pretty-well tell you all there is to tell about me, and certainly all you need to know about whether my company is fit for you to keep. But Gosh, your 'cynical' description of the book titles on offer in some stores had me in stitches, and you have my solemn promise that I shall not read one (exit Walter, hastening home to take twenty-seven suddenly not required self-help books down to the local retirement village). Take care both,

Walter

Hello

I hope you don't mind me joining in - I just had to back up Walter's comment about university. I also went to university as a mature age student - scared, nervous, had nightmares about failing, embarrassing myself and anything else (bad) that you can think of. It's turned out to be challenging, frustrating, wonderful and addictive.

B

Hello Walter, Shirps, and now also Beloved (nice to have you on the firm B). I didn't go to uni, although I did spend a year learning electronics at a furniture college (it's a long story). I probably should have though, given my dislike of work at the time - I stayed on into the 6th form because I didn't want to go to work, and I went to college because I didn't want to go to work, and even when I did go to work, I did it for two years and then took a year off (and yes, I am a member of Big 'Evil' Dan's Church of Weekendism ).

As it turned out, I've had a bloody good time anyway, and I don't know if I'd want to change anything given the chance. Ah hell, of course I would - if I could do it all over again, I'd say something to Maria Smith that time when she sat down next to me on the A level geography field trip to Yorkshire, but I was far too shy and at the time.

I spent nearly 18 years as a self employed person until I moved here, and they were the best years of my working life so far. I'm now working at a used cd store which may well turn out to be just as much fun. It's part-owned by a bloke called Al who owns a number of other stores in Minnesota and Colorado, but mostly owned by my boss Jason. Jason used to work for Al up in Minnesota, but came back to Austin to open his own store with Al's backing. The store operates policies of employee involvement, continuous training, reward for training, and profitshare, which make it almost like working for a co-op. The pay ain't great, but I get cd's at practically 1/4 of the retail price, the profitshare payouts should increase in frequency as the store becomes more established, and if I stick at it long enough, I get my own store. My own little empire to run as I please (within certain of Al's guidelines). I guess the point I'm making is that although I could have fulfilled what I now realise (but didn't at the time) is my ambition to be a meteorologist if I'd gone on to higher education, I've done a bunch of things I might never have if I'd done that. Yeah, I might have ended up in America anyway (and I do often miss the green pastures and the rolling hills Shirps, and even the rain), but I might also have ended up as Michael Fish , and I might not have ended up at h2g2 with all my friends in the various forums