h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The other day I finished a filling a 160 page "college ruled" (lined)book full of quotes. I have consistently added quotes, poetry, and intriguing phrases to it for over six years. Things that I really liked when I read or heard them and wanted to remember them. A few examples:

"The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress."
-Death of a Salesman

"In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak." -Tom Robbins 'Skinny Legs and All"

"Never shalt thou build again these walls of pain...Ye suffer from yourself...and whirl upon the wheel, and hug and kiss the spokes of agony." -E. Arnolds

So now I suppose that I should start a new book. Flipping through this completed one, I see how my tastes have changed- there are things in it that I wouldn't add now and some that I still would add, but for different reasons. Because I've never been one to keep a diary- this book is one of the best records I have of the past six years. I can't wait to see what the next book will record, and reveal.

Well, it worked for King Alfred (he of the 'The Great' fame); he had such a book, which was called the Enchiridion, and which could quite possibly have been a precursor of the Guide. Apart from the bit about digital watches.

I'm intrigued. Can you tell me more of this "Enchiridion?" Sounds almost as cool as Ash's Necronomicon. (of "This is my BOOM stick!" fame)

Okay, here we go: one potted history coming up.
King Alfred the Great was a champion of early English literature (think Beowulf and you're on the right track) and a great patron of the arts. He was responsible for compiling the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle in the 890s, among other such works, and was an all-round impressive kinda guy. He remains the only British monarch ever to be given the title 'the Great'.
Anyway, as well as kicking plenty of Viking arse, he kept on or about his person (if I remember correctly) a book, in the style of what would later be known in Elizabethan times as a 'Commonplace Book', into which the owner would copy down religious and poetic verses, and pretty much any sort of quotation they thought would grace the pages of their own little tome. [This is how many of the Metaphysical poets of the Elizabethan age composed their poems, I think. They would pass their commonplace books between each other and comment on each others' work without the poems ever becoming commonly available. These books were also the 'testing areas' for some seriously cutting-edge poetry, the likes of which would probably have been too much for the average Elizabethan Joe in the street.]
But I digress. To get back on track, Alfred's particular book was called the Enchiridion. This is not a name, as far as I am aware, unique to Alfred's book (other literary types have alluded to their commonplace books using the same term - I can't think of any concrete examples off the top of my head though), but he was the first to use it. Probably.

So, there you go - I hope this has gone some was to satisfying your curiosity. Just don't quote me, because it's quite possibly completely wrong.

As for Ash's Necronomicon, this is a completely different kettle of fish, and I kind of know the origin vaguely, but you're getting into heavy-duty occultism here. Which I know little about. Still, as that nice Mr. Campbell said, 'Groovy.'

Thanks muchly. Very informative. I must admit that my knowlege of Anglo-Saxon (and friends) History is seriously lacking so I appreciate any random snippets of info that let me avoid picking up a text book. I'm a current events kind of gal (don't let me get started on landmines!) but I do realize that I need to know about a country's history if I'm trying to solve its current problems.

You're quite right about the difference between the Necro and King Alfred's book. But isn't it nice to able to share an AoD moment?

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

The first time I saw AoD, it was a version taped off Italian TV and really badly dubbed into Italian, and as such, completely incomprehensible. I recommend seeing films under similar conditions; it makes for a surreal experience.

No doubt. I believe that the first time I saw AoD was at my friend Matthew's (known in the h2g2 realm as Matt the Rat, inventor of the Spen) swinging bachelor pad above his parent's garage. Since the moment I heard Bruce Campbell utter the words "Hail to the king, baby" -I have never looked back. Except occasionally to see if anyone was following me.

Ash's unquestionable status as cult hero is perfectly understandable; anyone who can saw off their own hand saying 'Who's laughing now?' deserves an honourable mention. (I did get that bit right, no? It's been quite some time since I've seen EDII, so I'm running from memory here)

The feeling of being followed is, as Slartibartfast notes, not a phenomenon restricted to the individual, but a symptom of the 'perfectly normal paranoia' that is literally universal. No, the ones you've got to look out for are would be over-intelligent animals that sit there and watch you. And don't stop.
Speaking as the owner of two stoopid dogs, I can vouch for their incredible lack of brainpower (imagine two thirds of the Three Stooges, but hairy). However, they're capable of sitting there for hours, just checking me out. I think they've been possessed by the spirit of Hal from 2001.

And we all know about the mice. Suffice to say that you shouldn't mess with the rodents.
Anyway, I suppose I'd better do some work *grumbles* so ciao, man.

Yeah- I tend to avoid furry cheese fiends - I don't think my intellect could not handle the assault!

I just started logging onto h2g2 at work (shh..don't tell anyone!)

I haven't had the nerve to write anything though because I work in a rather open cubical. I'd also feel too guilty because I have tons of work to do and only two weeks to do it before I move. I'm lucky to be the only one at work who can access the internet though- the others only have intranet. (I can almost picture the PowerPoint presentation on Employee Productivity that brought that about!) I managed to convince my boss that I needed to be connected- I think the fact that I'm a RESEARCH assistant clinched the argument.

Ho Hum- I have to stay on my campus this weekend because I am the Don-on-duty until 8am Monday. The joys of being employed for Student Housing Services...though I like the fact that I get a free apartment.

See you on the flip side.

Being a research assistant rocks! It's the whole reason I have internet access at work too; I think only about 3 or 4 other people in the company I work for have access, so the fact that I monopolise days' worth of webtime on h2g2 is pretty cheeky. (Worthy a pursuit as it is, I don't think that my boss will be that amused when she returns from her holiday!)

Hey... are we living parallel lives or what?

hmm. Perhaps we are. Living parallel lives that is. Did you spend the day gathering data from loan files of women-owned and run businesses?
If you did, my deepest sympathies. Ah well- only 9 days to go! That's my new mantra- at least until tomorrow.

No, but I did spend the day photocopying illuminated manuscripts and typing up a diary of Charles Lindbergh's solo transatlantic flight. How's that for a rivetting day's work, eh?

Not, however, as interesting as data gathering. Mmmmm... data...

illuminated manuscripts are those rilly, rilly pretty texts with big, artistic first letters, right? if so, that's very cool. i photocopy surveys and loan submissions. at least i am done gathering data from client files. (and there was much rejoicing...) but i now have to enter the data onto a poorly designed Excel sheet, which was done by someone who is being paid $70/hour (over 30 pounds!) it's so frustrative because i'm paid $13/hour and i have to fix the document.
grrrr. five more days...five more days...

hope you had a pleasant weekend.

My weekend was better than usual, thanks. Soccer on saturday afternoon followed by the X-Men on its opening weekend. Hey, what can I say? I'm a chap of simple pleasures.

If it's any consolation, my boss is returning from her holiday today, and it's going to be a complete nightmare.

Anyway, how was your weekend?

My weekend was good- went to a wedding and going to another this Saturday. I'm busy packing right now as I will be moving "home" (i.e. where my parents live) for a week before I move to Ottawa. "Home" is a city of 133,000 called St.Catharines (11 km from Niagara Falls- i.e. a rilly, rilly tacky place.) Starting Friday, I will be offline until at least September 2 (the horror!)

Was X-Men good? I'm debating about seeing it b/c I don't know much about the cartoon and even less about the comic.

How are things going in regards to the return of your boss?

I got a motorcycle helmet yesterday.

X-Men was okay; good fun without being the best film ever, despite what some people say. IMHO, the best thing about it was that it was brief. This isn't veiled criticism, but it means that the movie wasn't a turgid, plodding mess like so many of these superhero adaptations, which creak from setpiece to setpiece. Plus the special FX play second fiddle to the plot, which makes for a nice change.

My boss' return has meant that I'm having to be sneakier than ever when it comes to getting onto h2g2, and I've got loads more work now. Bummer.

Is it a nice motorcycle helmet? Does it mean that you've got a bike?

Sad to hear about the temporary absence. How will I survive without my parallel self?

I hope that the move goes smoothly...
Nex...

I am writing from work for the first time...I feel so evil...well, not really. two more days...

'Tis a shiny black helmet- not a very expensive one because it's only a passenger helmet for my boyfriend's motorcycle. How he has managed to convince me to get on a motorcycle, I'll never know. Anyway- I've since been on the bike twice and I'm not terrified yet, so all is good.

Sorry to hear about the extra work, but maybe the need for sneakiness will help you hone your spy skills- Nexus Seven is a very good spy name. I'm sure it's from something, but I haven't the foggiest what.

You'll probably survive without me...I mean, most parallel pairs never end up knowing of their other halfs- isn't the internet grand?

Take care of yourself...I'll be back before you know it!

Cheers!
-jtg

NexusSeven is inspired by BladeRunner; the replicants that Harrison Ford is chasing are of the 'Nexus-6' generation. I couldn't resist being one better than Rutger Hauer, so N7 it was...

Writing from work is, I feel, a necessary evil, at least until I get myself a laptop (not long now!). Once I have to pay to access h2g2, I'll probably never be heard of again... only kidding.

You're bolder than I am; I've never ridden on a motorbike of any description. As passenger *or* driver (does one 'drive' a motorcycle? Hmmmm).

See Ya Round...

You could be a completely different person, and I'd never know!

So...I have moved. My basement apartment is quite nice, but there are currently boxes everywhere and I have a terrible headache.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm back online- hope you're doing well.

btw- I think one "rides" a motorcycle.

(still) just this girl, you know.

Apologies about the namechange; it was to do with the silly fancy-dress business at the Foxy Manor page.

I'm now back to the original 1.0 version of me.

I hope that the rest of the 'settling-in' stage of moving goes as smoothly as possible...